There are lots of ways people react while they are being stimulated (or stimulate themselves, for that matter) - there is no set of rules about what you're supposed to do when your partner stimulates you. During Sex, People can be silent or loud or laugh or cry or move a lot or very little or show their partners what they like and do lots of other things.
If you're wondering "what to do" when your boyfriend stimulates you manually, it sounds to me like you're just not ready for that. - Everyone is different in his/her sexual response, and we can't tell you what to do - it should come naturally and if you have to think about what to do while he is pleasuring you, your response most likely won't be natural at all.
Regarding oral sex - if you think it's "gross" (something I disagree with, I might add), than simply don't do it. Your boyfriend seems to want to pleasure you while you seem to want to have him perform oral sex on you to please him. - Something is wrong here, don't you think?
In general, your post sounds like you're not terribly comfortable with the idea of having partnered Sex (which is what manual or oral sex are) right now, so why don't you take a step back from all this, until you feel ready. - You'll get more out of the whole thing that way.
Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...
[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 01-01-2001).]