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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS & HELPS » Site Help and Service » How can we best help you with patterns of ongoing risks?

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Author Topic: How can we best help you with patterns of ongoing risks?
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Before I say anything else, I want to assure you that this is a no-judgment zone. I'm asking what I'm asking to assure we do our very best when it comes to being able to really help some of you, not to make you feel guilty or foolish or to finger-wag you. Okay? No judgment here.

I'd say it happens less times than more, but we do still notice that with some regularity, we'll have a user ask a question here, get information and advice, then come back a few months, even a year or two later, with ongoing problems or complications from not having followed that advice. One common example is helping someone know they need sexual healthcare, directing them with how and where to get it, then having them come back months later with a continuing problem and still not having gotten that care, without any actual barriers to it, save mental ones. Not using safer sex practices or birth control is another common repeater (and why we have the three-strikes rule with pregnancy scares).

Obviously, any of us asks for advice or information, that doesn't mean we'll act on it or even plan to. We may get that information, see that something isn't so good for us or is clearly risky for us, but choose to do it anyway, just knowing there are risks or negative consequences, or, perhaps, not convinced that what we're saying has merit.

But when we see users who clearly suffer from health complications because of not making different choices when advised why or how to do so, or who remain unhappy or in mental or emotional anguish, it's something I want to know what, if anything, you think we might be able to do better to help out with. Our interest is your best interest, and your sound physical, mental and emotional health and well-being, so if there is something additional you feel we can do, or different ways we might approach something, I'd be very interested in hearing what you have to say, particularly if you've found yourself in this kind of pattern in your tenure here.

Given, sometimes people are just not going to adapt their behavior or choices, and that's a given no matter what someone does. Too, we can't control external issues: if someone just can't access healthcare, or is being abused by someone they can't get away from for the time being, for instance, we can't be of much use.

But I'd like to talk about situations where change is possible, but just isn't happening. If you've got something to say on this -- again, particularly if you have ever found yourself asking for advice or info, then dismissing it, then coming back over time with the same problem or one related to it -- by all means, pipe up. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68164 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
Activist
Member # 37530

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Well, I've caught myself in multiple pregnancy scares, 90% of which from the same problem. However, I've only posted about one, mainly because it's the same thing over and over, and I dont want to use up my other two strikes. [Smile]
Really though, after I thought about it, it was my own stubbornness to not listen to you guys. However, because of this site and all of its wonderful advice, on this day, I am one who uses safer sex practice MOST, not all, of the time, but hey, it's better than nothing. Since March, I've talked to my boyfriend about us not having sex until I get on BC & he gets condoms...

In all honesty though, I dont think you can really make someone stop doing what they are doing; you can only give the advice, try to persuade them, and let them fly. After a while, I realized that the advice all of you were giving were only to help me, and so, I try to stick to what you say.


Hope this helps.

[ 05-18-2008, 12:15 PM: Message edited by: Typical Young and Dumb Teenager? ]

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Young and Dumb.
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." - Keith Urban

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JaneJackson1989
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Member # 36749

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Personally I think that the 3-strike rule should be a bit more defined, (this isn't necessarily from personal experience of using this site)
But alot of the time, if someone has had three pregnancy scares it doesnt mean that they have disreegarded advice it could be that something has gone wrong or they are worrying bout a completley different scenario, i think the rule should only apply when they have ignored advice.
not critisizing btw!

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-Lauren-
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Member # 25983

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Well, I personally think the rule very clearly states that the three-strikes rule applies only when a user HAS been advised clearly on how to avoid future risks and provided all the resources they need to educate themselves and reduce those risks. :) See from here:


quote:
We may state that we will no longer answer a given user's questions on a given topic if:
that user has already been answered, in depth by one or more staff and volunteers, but continues to ask the same question OR,

has had more than THREE pregnancy scares and/or STI scrares we have addressed but continues to take risks which present those scenarios after we have advised a user at least three times as to how to practice sex more responsibly,


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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As Lauren stated, the three strikes rule IS about when we're not looking at radically different situations, but a refusal to use birth control, use it properly, our change the habits causing those scares per our advice.

But let's try and keep this on topic, okay? Thanks. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68164 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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