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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Is there such a thing as being ex-gay?

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Author Topic: Is there such a thing as being ex-gay?
EmilyJ
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Member # 107684

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i have a friend who's older brother is a youth minister and he says being gay is wrong according to the bible, and that gay people can become ex-gays if they go through somekind of special christian treatment that stops them from being gay.

i really don't think what he says is true, but i did search on the internet, and there are people who say they were once gay, but not gay anymore.

at school they never said anything about people changing from being gay to not being gay, at school they just said its OK to be gay.

i know some gay people (like my uncle & his friends), and they seem happy being gay, they don't seem like they would want to be ex-gay. i've never asked them about it.

if gay people can become ex-gay, how does that work? what do they do become ex-gay?

i hope those aren't stupid questions. i just was wondering about it.

thanks [Smile]

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see ya later!

Emily :)

Posts: 3 | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey, Emily.

By all means, how someone identifies their orientation is up to them, so someone certainly can identify as gay (or straight, or anything at all) and then choose to identify differently. As well, sexuality is fluid, so people can find, though life, that their sexuality, including to whom they are attracted, can shift or change some over time.

But we do know, though a lot of study -- including human rights work around this "reparative therapy," in particular -- that no one can change someone's orientation externally. We also know, though study on these approaches, that they are based in fear and shame, effectively convincing people who are homosexual that they are wrong,and sinful and must change to be okay as people. As well, we know that many, if not most, of these "treatment" centers are, in fact, centers for abuse, which is why some people (including some states or countries) have worked hard at trying to get them shut down.

I'm really glad to hear it sounds like you know better, and that the messages you're getting about being gay at school support that it's just as okay to be gay as it is to be straight.

You can look up more about this kind of "treatment," (which I put in quotes because a) it's no kind of treatment at all, and b) homosexuality isn't a condition to be treated in the fisst place) online, here are some links to start with:
• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/30/conversion-therapy-survey_n_3354253.html
• http://cmgoutchristian.wordpress.com/category/ex-gay-and-reparative-therapy/
• http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2013/03/nj_senate_panel_approves_bill_3.html
• http://www.queerty.com/raymond-buys-gay-reparative-camp-death-20130429/

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey, Emily, just a reminder that before we talk with you more, we need permission via email, as the site registration made clear, per your age, from your legal guardian.

They can do that via the link below that says "contact us." In the meantime, I need to suspend your site use, but we'll give it back if and when we get that permission.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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