Up until lately, I have always though I was heterosexual. Once I entered the sixth grade, my mind was swirled with mixed emotions and thoughts about what gender I truly liked. So I mentioned this to my mother. Putting it lightly, she flipped shit. My dad, on the other hand, was somewhat accepting, but wasn't completely warmed to the idea of having a gay daughter. My older sister was the most supportiv of all. She always pointed out cute girls and understood the confused feeling, as she went through the phase also. I felt like my mother and I were drifting, so I lied and told her I was confused. She seemed happier now that I was Straight. I was unbiased. I didn't feel any difference.
The thought went away, until two years later, I got my first serious boyfriend. I was happily dating him, but felt as if it wasn't enough. We were never sexually active, but I did have fantasies.
But, after we broke up, the thoughts stirred. I realized that, hey, maybe I WAS gay. But, I still felt attracted to guys. After one of my best friends came out, I felt more comfortable with the possibility of myself being gay. Then, it happened.
She told me she liked me. Suddenly, Bicurious me was straighter than an iron rod. After she got over it, I felt attracted to her. I mean, I don't even know why... But she was open about being gay, and I hadn't let anyone know the second time around. So the idea was foreign to me. Was I or not?
Honestly, I'm trying to go to church with my Best friend, and don't know if the church is accepting of gays or not. I've never been, but I plan to. I mean, maybe this is just a feeling I get? I'm sexually attracted to girls, but emotionally attracted to boys? Is that normal? Any tips or advice is heavily considered, and highly appreciated. (:
-------------------- You can't take the worst out of someone, without taking the best out, too. Posts: 2 | From: Ohio | Registered: Dec 2012
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You know, I'd say it's awfully hard to figure out our orientation based on a) our feelings for one person, and b) trying to figure out our feelings for one gender based on our feelings about another. In other words, feeling dissatisfied by guys doesn't really tell you anything about how you may feel about people of other genders.
As well, how you feel about one girl doesn't really tell you much about how you feel about all women, or women as a group, if you get me.
I'm not really sure what you're asking here, though, per what we can help answer for or with you, versus what time will tell when it comes to sorting out your own feelings. Can you maybe try and ask what you're asking a bit more clearly?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 65663 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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