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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Couple Questions...

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Author Topic: Couple Questions...
crathes
Activist
Member # 108814

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I have a couple questions that i know are really weird but need to ask. I'm kinda scared to post about this on here because of the rare chance that someone might see it and know it's me, but i dont' know who else to talk to.

They probably sound really bad, but please don't "yell" at me since they are my situation and I'm not trying to be ignorant. [Frown]

1. Is it weird for there to be more than one person who is not straight in a family? I mean an immediate family. Does it mean that there is something wrong with the younger person? I think that some people might think that, that the younger person was somehow "influenced."

2. Is it weird for people in this day and age to be in their 20s and still not out, or still not feel good about being bi or gay? Does everyone have to come out?

Does anyone else ever wonder if other people can "tell"? I don't really think they can, or at least I can't with other people, but sometimes I just feel like "What if they got a 'vibe' off me?"

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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No one should ever be yelling at anyone here, and should that ever happen, please report it to us.

It is no more weird or unusual for more than one person to be queer in a family than it is for more than one person to be straight. [Smile]

No one has to come out. It is not required for anyone to have to announce an orientation to anyone, give words to one, or be any more public about their orientation then they want to be. I also certainly would not say it is unusual for people to still feel conflicted about being queer. Would that we lived in a world where there was just as much acceptance and comfort for people who are not straight as there is for people who are. Things have been changing in many places in that regard for the better, but we are so, so not there yet. Additionally, not everyone is always going to feel at peace with all the parts of who they are, even when those around them do. This can be as true about orientation as anything else.

Can people get a sense of someone's orientation? Sure. But I think it is also safe to say that people will just as often be wrong about that as right.

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crathes
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Thank you. [Smile] I am pretty scared to talk about this stuff, and your reply was really nice and made sense.

I know people would probably wonder why I don't just talk to my relative. I think about that sometimes, but they have a lot of other stuff to worry about these days, and anyway, we don't see each other much or even talk that much anymore. I did kinda sorta tell them about me a long long time ago.

I do feel really alone sometimes. I used to be on a forum that was nice but it seems to have disappeared.

I know it sounds dumb to say I feel alone with it because I'm not the only one in my family. But when someone in your family is out and you're not, you get to hear what people say about it, things that they might not say to that other person (in addition to what everyone hears in general and what people say if they suspect something about you).

I don't intend on coming out to anyone else. I think about it from time to time but don't think it' worth it. I just wish I didn't feel like it was some kind of curse on me.

I'm in my 20s and feel like at least in in some places in this day and age, people like me have already dealt with this long ago by my age. I"ve known I was like this for probably the better part of my life now.

If any of this sounds familiar to anyone, please feel free to weigh in or vent as you please. [Smile]

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