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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Questioning, feel kinda abnormal

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Author Topic: Questioning, feel kinda abnormal
That Strange CT child
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Ok so im kinda ashamed to say that im 16 and still questioning and unsure of my sexuality
I masturbate quicker when i think of women but get a better orgasm when i think of men, and when i look at pics of either gender naked or partly naked i kinda feel turned on by both, and i have romantic fantasies about both genders, females more sexual males more intellectual or receptive sexual
Ive been exposed to mixed media messages about sexuality, and i am an advocate of LGBT people so im not opposed to anyone for any sexuality reasons
I joined my schools gsa so i guess my best bet is to let nature take its course? Will i eventually figure it out??

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

Posts: 133 | From: Connecticut | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of. Most people haven't got a very solid sense of their orientation in their teens, and something as big as sexuality is something that takes all of us a lifetime to figure out, honest;y. No one has it figured out when it's barely just become part of their lives.

I hear you saying that so far, you experience feeling of attraction for both men and women. Does that sound right to you?

If so, are you thinking you have to pick only one?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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That Strange CT child
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Sounds right and i also, when masturbating sometimes, pretend to be a different species, which sometimes makes it easier to focus on what im doing
I dont really feel i have to choose (ive never had STRONG) preferences for ANYTHING in life really, but i feel im confusing other people abt myself and if i date anyone i dont want them to fear i'll run off with a different partner and ive heard people say things abt not being able to make up my mind and stuff

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

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Heather
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Well, for sure, some people have bias about those of us who are bisexual.

But bias isn't reality. In reality, a bisexual person is no more likely to ditch a partner than someone heterosexual or homosexual. And heterosexual and homosexual people also often feel challenged per making up their minds about who they want to date. To boot, no one orientation wants the same relationship model: there are people of all orientations who want monogamy, and people of all orientations who don't.

So, you don't have to choose any one (or even two!) gender in your life, your attractions or your orientation. If you're attracted to more than one gender, you're attracted to more than one gender.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
That Strange CT child
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Love is love i guess
Also wondering how i can figure out
1: someone elses sexuality (totally wrong to hit on anyone who wouldnt be attracted to me)
2: if someone likes me back
3: if someone is seeing someone else (cause u cant ask someone out if they r already seeing someone)
Im a bit socially awkward so the insinctive ability to detect these things just isnt there

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

Posts: 133 | From: Connecticut | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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No one can know these things about someone else just by looking, or often without knowing them pretty well.

There's nothing wrong with interacting with -- including flirting with -- people when we're not sure if they're interested in us. And ultimately, someone has to make tentative interactions like that to try and find out, be it you or anyone else.

So, we can't figure out someone's sexuality without getting to know them, can't figure out how they feel about us without getting to know them, and can't know if someone is open to dating in general or what their orientation is, usually, without asking.

And it's not that you are lacking some kind of instinct other people have: no one usually can know these things without getting to know people and interacting with them.

[ 02-26-2013, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
That Strange CT child
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Ok i see now [Smile]

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

Posts: 133 | From: Connecticut | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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