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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Dreams and fantasies are making me question

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Author Topic: Dreams and fantasies are making me question
Hope28
Neophyte
Member # 110516

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So I identify as lesbian. I never have crushes on guys. I often feel attracted to women, and have crushes on them. I could imagine myself growing old with a woman. But the thing is; I can't stop having sexual dreams about men and, I have never dreamed about being with a girl. I also find it hard to fantasize about doing anything more than kissing a girl. While I can/have fantasize about going all the way with men. I have had sex with a guy before, but didn't find it very enjoyable. The farthest I have gone with a girl is kissing. Do you think my fantasies coincide with my past experiences? Maybe I just can't imagine being with a girl because I never have? So do you think that these dreams and fantasies mean anything in reality? [Confused]
Posts: 4 | From: Arizona | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 66249

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I would say they are already part of your reality. So they may mean something to you. But that doesn't mean there is anything hidden. I subscribe to wysiwyg sexuality (what you see is what you get). So you could simply a lesbian who fantasises about men with nothing more to it.
Posts: 694 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OhImpecuniousOne
Activist
Member # 110155

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I think you should date the people you want to date and fantasise about the people you want to fantasise about. It doesn't really matter if the label you've picked for yourself doesn't fit absolutely perfectly, or if it might start to fit less well in future; because really, labels exist mainly for your benefit, and if they're causing you more stress than comfort then it's probably worth ignoring the whole issue!
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Hope28
Neophyte
Member # 110516

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Thank you, Jacob and OhIpmpecuniousOne
Posts: 4 | From: Arizona | Registered: Jun 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 66249

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No worries hope!
Posts: 694 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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