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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I don't exactly know what to do…

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Author Topic: I don't exactly know what to do…
Member # 96481

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Well, my story is that I think I might be a lesbian? Ever since I was a little kid, I simply didn't like guys, as I got older that obviously no longer stands to be true. The thing is, I would convince myself that I'm into a guy, and then it'll turn out that I only ever wanted to be their friend. With girls, it was the opposite. So, yeah I get it, what's not to get, right? I OBVIOUSLY like girls eh? But that's just the thing, I CAN'T like girls, my mum is totally strict when it comes to her religious beliefs. She told me when I was really young that if I were ever gay she'd disown me, I'm only 16, I can't make it my own, and maybe I'm just going through a faze? I can't loose another person, and I don't know, maybe this was stupid?
Posts: 2 | From: Canada (Tornto) | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 95710

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First of all, nothing you have said here is stupid. Your feelings are your own, and important to you; so please do not beat yourself up over how you feel. If I can be honest, I myself am a Christian and my parents are very religious and conservative. They're accepting of homosexuals, yet I think they still struggle with it (they were born in different eras, so I try to remember that when I talk to them). However, I know that if I was a lesbian, though they might not understand my behaviour, they would still accept me. Perhaps you could talk to your parents about a friend you have who recently came out to his or her parents; and ask them what they think. You obviously don't have to do this if you don't want to; but it might give you a glimpse of how they might react to you coming out (if you do decide that that is something you want to do).

That being said, coming out is something that is specifically and wholly your own choice to make. If you don't want to tell your parents about how you feel now, then you certainly don't have to. Also, if you want to keep processing your feelings and getting to figure out who you are (which is something that I believe everyone goes through about any situation going on in their lives, not just about their sexual orientation), that's also perfectly okay. Only do what you feel comfortable with doing. I'm so sorry that you feel upset... If you want to talk more, we would be happy to listen and help in any way possible!

"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Hey, L.B. Welcome to the boards. [Smile]

First of all, I agree with Copper in that nothing you have said here is stupid. No one can dictate to you what feelings you can/cannot experience because that is not within anyone's control, strict religious beliefs or not. You are attracted to who you are attracted to, and nothing can change that.

Whether or not you will tell your mother about your orientation is a choice for you to make. It sounds like telling her right now will likely result in some serious backlash that would not be helpful or supportive to you at all, so it would be probably advisable to refrain from doing that.

Remember, though: you get to feel what you feel. Your feelings are perfectly valid, regardless of the beliefs that your mother holds. You also get to do what you want to regarding/in response to those feelings, whether it be telling a friend or someone else you trust.

How can we best support you right now?

"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

Posts: 537 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 56822

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-hugs for L.B.- [Smile]
Posts: 540 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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