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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » feeling isolated as a bi girl

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Author Topic: feeling isolated as a bi girl
Member # 58116

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My parents and friends are accepting of me, and I don't feel shame or self-hatred about my sexual/romantic feelings.

But I do feel alone and isolated, since everyone I know identifies as either completely gay or straight, in monogamous relationships. I don't really have anyone to talk to about being bi.

I just feel really "different" from most people. Of course, I know there are tons of other human beings in the world who have experienced bisexual feelings/encounters/relationships, but few seem to talk about it openly! At least nobody I know. And I live in a big liberal city!

I think it is beautiful and special to share my love with others regardless of gender, but it feels like nobody else understands this. Something about it scares me. And when I feel so alone and alienated I sometimes self-harm.

Posts: 77 | From: U.S. | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Audrey, does your school have a gay-straight alliance or similar club? If so, have you gone to a meeting yet, or spoken to someone from the club?

If your school does not have that, or if you have already tried that and not felt welcomed there, how about other LGBT youth groups in the city? Most bigger cities have at least one such group now, and if you live in a big city there might even be several, so you can shop around for the one that offers what you are looking for.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 58116

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There is one group in my city that I'm going to check out.

I just hate feeling so different from 90% of everyone. I'm queer, female, non-neurotypical, born into an ethnic/religious minority, trauma survivor, former sex worker, and physically disabled. It feels overwhelming a lot, like I'm not meant to be here.

Posts: 77 | From: U.S. | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Hey, audrey: I've been in a lot of the same places you are (in that shortlist, only really differ on the ethinic/religious minority part and not being neurotypical), and I know, it can feel intensely isolating.

I don't think any of this means you're not meant to be here, be that here on earth, or here where you live. I think it just means that the more intersections we get, the harder it can be to find people who really get all our stuff, or even just a little bit of our stuff.

I have to head out for the day in a few, because having spent most of my workday with the hell that is doing taxes for myself and the org, I need to give myself a break. But if you want to gab some more tomorrow or thereafter, I'd be happy to.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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