Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Gender Identity vs. Sexuality - and my parents' ignorance

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Gender Identity vs. Sexuality - and my parents' ignorance
Member # 95584

Icon 11 posted      Profile for qubit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My sister is an out and proud lesbian, whom I love dearly.
Problem is, we have pretty fundamentalist parents.
At my sister's wedding, my parents were introduced to a lot of people they'd normally avoid (Which is tragic, since some of these guys and gals have really affected my life for the positive). One such couple happened to be two MtF's who were in a lesbian relationship with another.
My parents could not understand why someone who in their minds "was male but is now female" would want to date a woman. They thought that if those two wanted to date women, they should have remained "men."

They seem to think of lesbians as "male" or something. I tried to explain to them that gender identity and sexuality are NOT the same thing. They weren't really buying it.

Anyone else have problems like this?
Any clever ways to get through to people on this issue?

Posts: 3 | From: Alaska | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, sounds like your parents have just been long-lacking any kind of sound education on both gender and sexual orientation. I know: duh.

Do you think they're open to any? Do you think they're open to changing their minds, too? I ask because sometimes people find their bias can make them feel more safe in who *they* are and how *they* want to understand the world, which is probably the biggest barrier to overcoming bias for anyone.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Who you like doesn't change your gender - it's not that hard to explain, but you're probably going to have to beat them round the head with it a bit.

Do they think that your sister, being a lesbian, is somehow male identified? If not, you can start from there - that your sister is a woman, and her liking other women doesn't change her into a man. If they understand that part, then you can add to it - if your sister was MtF, and she still liked women, then her liking women STILL doesn't magically change her into a man. Just find out what they know and build up on it until they can understand. Hope that helps?

[ 04-17-2012, 02:52 PM: Message edited by: Derpy Hooves ]


Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3