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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Bi or curious? I'm confused.

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Author Topic: Bi or curious? I'm confused.
purplegiraffe
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Member # 95246

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Recently, I was hanging out with my best friend(who's a girl) and I just had this random thought that she's really pretty. Now earlier, we had a sleepover and she wasn't wearing a bra under her shirt and I couldn't help looking at them occasionally. Then, when she was getting changed in the morning, (i was already changed) I turn around and she is just wearing a bra and I looked away, cause I was embarrassed.
Now, when we were 13, my other friend and I were at her house swimming in the pool, and we got out to get changed. My other friend and I took turns changing in the bathroom, while my best friend changed outside. We came out and were talking about if santa was real and was watching us all the time, it would be weird. So my best friend, lets call her Sue, is like "hey santa" and flashes
her private parts for a second. [Eek!]
So recently, I haven't been able to get that image out of my mind,(2 years later) and when we were hanging out last weekend, I had a thought of what it would be to kiss her, and I've had a few of
"those" thoughts about her.
On the other-hand, I've always had crushes on guys, and imagined getting married and having kids with a guy, so in that sense, I'm straight aren't I?
Also, when I was little, I had this girl in my dance class, and I thought she was pretty, and that if I was a boy,if only,I would be really nice to her and could be her boyfriend.
Does anyone know what this could mean? [Confused]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Let's try this first: what do YOU think?

Do these thoughts and feelings feel like what you know, in your own experience, to be sexual or romantic feelings, something different than say, general curiosity, or thinking people, of any gender, are good-looking people whether you have sexual/romantic feelings for them or not?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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purplegiraffe
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Member # 95246

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Well, I don't particularly have the same feeling I get when I'm near her as I do when I am near previous guys I have really liked. I've known her since I was nine, so I do have a liking to her, but nothing that I would call love in a romantic sense.
I do think that people of any gender are good looking without feeling romantically or sexually about them, I just appreciate their beauty I guess.
Also, I've never actually had a relationship with a guy or a girl, so I've never had past experience with either gender.
But then, I don't really want to be with a girl in a relationship I don't think. I just sometimes imagine that maybe I'm a boy and then I could be with her.

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Everyone can love.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, there you go. [Smile]

Whatever all of that means to you per identifying your orientation right now -- if you even want to, as it's not required of anyone -- that's what it means.

But it sounds to me that like a lot of young people, trying to have some kind of huge for-sure answer this soon, especially without even having started exploring sexual or romantic relationships, probably doesn't make much sense. And you don't need to: if and when you do want to explore those kinds of relationships with people, all you need to know is if you have those kinds of feelings for them, as individuals, or not. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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