Ok, lets go to a hypothetical situation and say you had the chance to relive exactly the same life. except that you could change your sexual orientation to straight. Would you do it? Would you change? I've been thinking about it and strangely enough I've decided no, it's kinda who I am now. But I'm 16 and haven't experienced the problems in adulthood(obviously). So, what would you do?
Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001
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Not if you paid me. I had a friend who asked me once if I'd change if it took 30 seconds. I told her that the 30 seconds would be a waste of my time, and I still believe that. I am who I am, I have no regrets, and if the rest of the world doesn't like it, then too bad for them, they'll just have to cope.
------------------ ------------------------ "I never said I was a boy." - Tenoh Haruka, episode 92, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon
Absolutely not. I love who I am and I'm very comfortable with being bi. I've never really suffered because of it but it has made me grow as a person. It's been well worth it.
However, if I had the chance to be straight or a lesbian for a minute or two I'd go for it. (Provided I was guaranteed that I could return to my natural state.) Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not be attracted to people because of something like gender.
I probably wouldn't either. I don't feel as vehement as some, I don't know.
There would be a lot of different and perhaps good things, but, and I can't really say why, I don't think I would--it's as though I wouldn't be me even though I guess I would. I feel one of the few parts of myself that I don't have serious issues with would be lost. I think I'd almost be too boring if I were straight, no, nevermind, I don't think I could ever be boring.
Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000
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I wouldn't change either (I'm lesbian). I did go thru a period of wanting to change when I was about 13, but that's basically b/c I was being indirectly and then directly harrased at school, once I changed schools, I was happy being me again!
I've been asked this question a couple of times by straight ppl, and some seem confused when I say, if I could re-live this life, I'd still "tick the box marked lesbian" (as I've heard it described). Any ideas as to why this is? lol!
------------------ "If you don't like gays, then they're everywhere, coming out of the woodwork to corrupt little children... but if you are gay, especially if you're in high school, you're the only one in the universe..."
I feel obligated to mention that love isn't just sex. Despite being straight, I have loved a few guys intellectually. They're the people that transcend all the little burdens that normal people place on me. (For one, they don't bicker over who gets what seat on the couch; they just move to the floor.) Also, being attractive isn't necessarily being sexy; there's a few guys I wouldn't mind petrifying and putting in an alcove to worship and drool on, but I just don't have any interest in sex with them.
For the curious, being uninterested in someone is really very boring. It's just an absence of that particular emotion, like being unattracted to your computer.
I wouldn't change my sex, gender, or orientation. I'm just getting comfortable with it.
------------------ Sapphire Cat You can love me or hate me, but it won't change who I am.
For those of you who don't know, I'm gay (well, lesbian if you will. I'm not too fond of the word, personally). I'm 16 and am pretty darn out. Most of my friends know, and it's kinda funny, one of them didn't and my best guy friend pokes fun at her for not knowing. How silly.
Anyway, if there was anything that I would change, I think it'd be the relations with my best friend that made me question myself in the first place.
I'm straight. I only wish I could be bisexual. While I do adore boys, I think women are fascinating and beautiful. I stop and stare at them all the time. But really, if you put me in a room with one and told me I could do whatever I wanted, I'd probably just ask her to share a cup of coffee and go shopping for shoes with me.
estoy - i know your part of the world. i don't know you irl, do i? or at least from another board like DeadAir?
------------------ I bust my arse so that I can get somewhere in life, so why am I not there yet?
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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I would never change. I'm getting really comfortable with my bi-ness, and have grown very fond of that side of me. Sure, life could be easier if I was straight, but who wants life to be easy? That's just plain boring! Like Poetgirl said, it doubles the dating options (well, not exactly doubles, some girls are *gasp* actually hetero...), and it also makes BayWatch REALLY fun to watch It's something that always made me wonder, many people say that love has no boundaries, that it's blind to age and race differences, so why should it open it's eyes when it comes to gender? And especially when there isn't a gender difference?
------------------ Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
Personally, I would never change my orentation either. However, I would change the comfort level that I have with my orentation -- maybe that's not the way that I want to word it. What I mean is that I would rather be more confident with who I am (confidence isn't somthing that comes naturally to me anyway), confident enought to present myself to the world and say "Here's who I am, and, like it or not, you're just going to have to deal with it."
That would be the only way that I would ever change myself. I'm too happy being bi (or, the way that I like to explain it, selfish) to ever want to be so limited as to not see the beauty in all sexes.
------------------ Tim (a.k.a. the dude) ------------------------- "Don't knock masturbation-- it's sex with someone I love" -- Woody Allen
Well I am going buck the trend here and say "yes I would rather be only attracted to girls." The reason is that I am attracted to a boy who I came out to and he said he was completely staight (and now I think he is avoiding me somewhat). I still think about him too much. If I was completely straight, I would still have an untinged friendship with him. At the same time I wouldnt mind getting rid of about half of my sexual kinks, that are rather annoying at times.
Or maybe... would I just be boring if I got rid of all that?
------------------ 'An Anarchist is a Liberal with a bomb' Trotsky
I don't think you'd be boring, but I think that to give up something that's part of you because you've had one negative experience, or because it makes life a little bit difficult would be a little rash. Especially as a teenager, when you have your whole gay/straight/kinky/whatever else you can think of life ahead of you. Something (of many things) that Scarleteen has taught me is that sexuality is part of you-and a good part of you at that.
So, no, I wouldn't change anything to do with my sexuality. I like girls and boys, just like I like coffee and tea. I wouldn't choose only to like tea, because I'm a tea and coffee kinda person. But I don't think there's any problem with only liking coffee, or with liking neither. Heck this is a confusing messy analogy which sounded good in my head. I basically mean that I wouldn't change my identity because it's who I am, but other peoples' identities are fine too.
It's probably best to ignore the above brain messed up chronic fatiguey muddled paragraph.
------------------ You wanna save humanity, it's just the people you can't stand-John Lennon
Witness the infinite justice of the new century. Civilians starving to death whilst waiting to be killed.
NO NO and did i say HELL NO!!!!! i love my sexuality and to change would be like asking me if i wanted to keep both of my arms. It isn't going to happen. I have to look back at the wonderful Greeks who believed that a bisexual or homosexual was favored by the gods for being blessed with two spirits that of a man and of a woman. I completely believe that. I might change to be a homosexual but it wouldn't be me and i might miss out my soul mate if it is a guy even though i do prefer females. oh what i tell my friends is that of there is a hell i will come back as a hetersexual male but all in all HELL NO!!!!!
------------------ Normality is a curse for the weak!!!!
Posts: 5 | From: Palm Springs, CA, U.S.A. | Registered: Jan 2002
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Another person to break the trend. I'm fourteen- and a very confused person. I think I am bisexual or les, but I have so much going on in my life already. I feel an urge to DECIDE what I am, and it's hard to since i am too busy and go to an all girls school! I think I have a crush on my friend (girl also). It would make my life so much easier not to be attracted to girls, and it would also be nice not to have so many rumors about my gay-ness going around school. How they know, i have no clue. I must be obvious. Ive only told a couple of people...
Posts: 21 | From: LA, CA, USA | Registered: Feb 2002
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Never. I mean, it's who I am. I don't think I'd ever be able to change, I mean, my signature says it all! And I beleive that me doing this is revealing the truth about people that I have known for such a long time. (Okay, I've only come out to my best freind that I've known for one year, but hey, she's really supportive about it.) And as Alexandra said in 'Josie and the Pussycats' "I'm perfect just the way I am"
------------------ "Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be, and if you give a **** take me baby, or leave me."~Jo-Ann and Maureen from the broadway production "Rent"
i dont think i would change. maybe this is a bad thing, but my sexuality is really wound up with my identity, so... plus, it's not that bad! kinda fun, if ya ask me. (im les/bi, by the way.)
Posts: 8 | From: narberth, PA, USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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I wouldn't change the fact that I'm bi, though it's intersting to think about. The major reaction I get when people find out (as in I tell them!) is that it must be cacause I'm incradibly horny/permiscouis, and it really aggravates me that people think that (especially on days when I believe them) But I think that's more about them needing a change than me. I feel comfortable with bisexuality because, like someone else said, who you love is not restricted by what sort of genitalia they have.
------------------ "I want to live like I type--fast, and with lots of mistakes"
I've decided (after much heart-ache and deiberation) that I am throughly bi, and wouldn't change it for the world. There are qualities that I can only ever find atractive in one sex or the other, and I don't want to give up either. So no.. no way.
This is definately a very hard question. By being straight, we could avoid all the criticism and harassment we receive. We could avoid to confusion we constantly feel. We could feel more "the same" to our straight friends. But by being straight, we wouldn't have met all the people we've encountered by being gay/bi. We wouldn't have learned all these new things about ourselves, and gone on such an interesting and exhilarating road of self-discovery. So if I had a chance to change, I wouldn't, because being gay is a part of who I am. Obviously, if I lived the same life except for the fact that I was gay, then I'd think men were just as wonderful as I think women are. But I just can't imagine myself in that life.
------------------ And now she's walking through the clouds with a circus mind that's running wild. ~ Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales. ~ All she ever thinks about is riding with the wind. ~ When I'm sad she comes to me. ~ With a thousand smiles she gives to me, free. ~ 'It's alright, it's alright' she says. 'Take anything you want from me. Anything.'
i'm not sure if i've answered this question already, but i'll answer it again. no, i wouldn't change. i love my girlfriend. ;P plus i've met so many awesome people through my queer youth group and i wouldn't want to give that up.
i don't think i would change cuz most people think i am one way (always Straight) but i am really another and since people figure i am one way they deserve to be confused when i tell them what i am. most people really don't care that i am bi anyway! By the the time they find out we are usually good friends anyway.
Posts: 12 | From: wisconsin | Registered: Mar 2003
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i'm kinda new to the lesbian thang (i'm only 13), but i love girls and women. i'll sit and stare at them all day.
what the hell man, i just gonna admit it: I ENJOY THE VEIW FROM THE LOCKER ROOM!!! as for gumdrop girl: ya wanna be bi i'll help! (don't mind me i'm just a flirt who's new 2 the site) ~kiss~ ~kiss~ hahahaha!!!
[This message has been edited by tasty (edited 05-02-2003).]
I am new to these posts and this is my first one. Yay! Anyway. I identify as lesbian, even though I'm technically bisexual, because I can't say that I won't fall in love with a man. Also, given the chance, I would never change my orientation. That would be like asking to come back a different race or gender or something. I am who I am, and if anything changed at all, I wouldn't be me. Although, if I could change something, I would change society's view on differences, make society accept and rejoice in it's differences. I do not wish to be straight, I wish that I could be accepted as lesbian.
------------------ "Fear falls down like rain And it makes me whole again Fear falls like rain Take me as I am I'm not broken Pieces of my life are not tokens I want to let you know that I'm still learning How to love again and stop hurting" ~Tonic
Posts: 2 | From: Rockford, IL USA | Registered: Jul 2003
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No Way! I would never change. Although it's hard sometimes and I do get ashamed sometimes but then i relize this is me and i don't care what other people think. I'm 16 and a Lesbian and i'm proud of who i am and i would never change.
Posts: 4 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Gosh- a parallel straight life - how tragic!
oh, it's not that bad .
I'm gonna go with the trend and say I don't think I'd change. Catch is, I'm straight. I'm not sure whether I'd become bi or not--the jury's kinda out on that. I was bi-curious for a while, until I did some experimentation in high school and just realized that girls simply aren't my cup of tea. I adore boys, though, and I wouldn't be the me that I am now if I were another sexual orientation. And I like me, which is why I wouldn't change.
------------------ "...and so, son, that's how babies are made!" "But Dad, what about the machinery?" "We'll get to that when you're older." (The Fairly Oddparents)
I know it's not a fantastically body/self/sex-positive attitude to have, and I know it's not a great example of role modelling, but I'm a person, not a model. Yes, I would change. I can't lie and say that I wouldn't want to, because I do want to; the relationship that I enjoyed for three-and-a-half years could have continued, if I didn't have these feelings (everything about our friendship was--is--great, except the sex part and the touching part and the having-feelings-for-other-women part). So, yes, I would change. In a heartbeat. But I've tried that, and I realize it's not a possibility, so I'm going to have to stop with the old unhappiness and figure out how to adjust to the new one. ;]
[edited to say: After thinking about this question for the past three days, that was all I could come up with. But it's the truth, even if it's not what I want to be saying. And as much as I feel bad about not accepting myself and my feelings, I feel good for being honest, even if I have to jump into a thread full of people feeling good. Thanks, guys ]
[This message has been edited by lemming (edited 07-28-2003).]
I'm bi and would certainly not want to change that fact. It's given me the option to recognize the beauty and attractiveness of such a variety of people that I would have missed out on were I straight, or lesbian.
Posts: 29 | From: Boulder, Colorado, USA | Registered: Mar 2003
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No, I wouldn't change my sexuality of a bisexual to straight, not even for a minute or two.
I have always been comfortable of my sexuality since I was 17, even though me being bi has always been there all my life from childhood and on. I love both girls and guys. Most people know of me and they are very supportive, and quite honestly, the relationships i have with them are quite much closer. I can see both of the views with guys and girls. It's just awesome. I wouldn't change my sexuality for anything. It's part of me.
I wouldn't change if my life depended on it! I tried going out with a guy last year, manily out of curiousity. It lasted about a month and was a total waste of time because in the end I was more confused than ever! I just don't get what the thrill is with guys... Women are perfect!
[This message has been edited by thellife (edited 11-11-2005).]
Posts: 5 | From: Bad Axe, Michigan, United States | Registered: Nov 2005
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Wow! This is a great topic! Really makes you think...
For a while (towards the beginning of my search for self) I would have given just about anything to be lesbian (I'm bi, in case you didn't notice the sn). I didn't like the ideas associated with the word (promiscuity, etc.) and had the idea that being lesbian was somehow easier. But then, as I became more comfortable with myself and my identity, I realized that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being bi. In fact, I love the fluidity and freedom of it. I think it's great being able to love someone for who they are and not be restricted by gender. And now, although sometimes I think it would make my life much simpler if I were straight, I wouldn't change my sexuality for the world.
So, as you can see, I'm going with the crowd on this one. :)
yes and no, i am exactly who i am and as they say - it needs NO excuses but sometimes i wish i was bi . . . u guys get all the fun. ah well, might as well get somewhere being straight before i start knocking it i suppose! i think more people on this site (Ironically maybe) neeed to start remembering that heterosexuality is just as valid and unique a sexual orientation as any other and that not everything is easy for heteros either.
"anything worth learning cant be taught" - oscar wilde
Right now I would totally change. I am bisexual and only recently admitting it to myself. I think pretty much right now I will get used to it or realize I'm not. I suppose I am bi and any doubts on the subject are really me just wanting not to be bi. But maybe later I won't want to change. Right now I mostly want to. But girls are pretty and guys are so sexy. Maybe not, but it is hard right now.
I am ME and that is the only label I need. Posts: 820 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009
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