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Author Topic: Still confused :(
Girlprobs20
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I have put previous posts about being confused before but i just can't get my head around my feelings.

I have feelings for Males,I always think to myself "OH wouldn't it be nice if I just had a nice guy who could just take care of me and how it would be nice if i met my young teenage love." That part of makes me think i'm straight.
But ever sinse I was about 13 (i'm 18 now) i started to have different feelings. When I saw pictures of girls bodies, I think they are so attractive and if i see two girls kissing i'd get attracted to it. I catch myself checking girls out all the time and im like "Wow, she looks soo good".
The thing is thought i can never see myself going out with a girl but i could see myself getting involved with other girls. It's confusing I know. I don't want to label myself but i want to know for sure. Please help :'(

[ 09-22-2011, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: BBT93 ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I hear you say that you're questioning right now. "Questioning" is a term some people use to identify their orientation when they're in this kind of space. Might that work for you right now?

It also is always worth mentioning that most people grow up only with people socializing them in such a way that ideas or images of being with opposite-sex people are the only ideas they get. So, even for people who are bisexual, gay/lesbian or otherwise queer, it can be harder to imagine being in the same kinds of relationships with people of the same or similar sex or gender for that reason alone.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Girlprobs20
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I could use that as a term but even when i decide i will be scared about being open and honest, evan thought alot of my other friends are either gay/bi/lesbian.
I have dreams and everything, i talked to my friend who's a lesbian and she says i could be curious, could that be the case?, I'm stressing about it. When I have kissed girls i didn't regret it and I do feel more comfortable talking about issues with girls.

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Heather
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Ultimately, it sounds to me like trying to come to some kind of definitive answer now isn't going to be doable for you. It's also not like people have to experience romantic and/or sexual relationships with people of all genders to know their orientation (nor that that will answer that, either), but it does tend to help. It sounds like you're still pretty new to any of that, all around.

By all means, people can be curious about anything and everything, and those curiosities may or may not be enduring or larger than merely curiosities.

Best bet? Stop stressing. We are what we are no matter what, and we're going to love who we're going to love; feel attracted to whoever we're attracted to. There's nothing automatically better about being any given orientation, just like there's nothing automatically better about being a given gender or race. There is just who we are, and we are all okay. And if you can get a little more okay with that, it'll probably be a lot easier to, over time, figure out whatever your own orientation is at the time, and what identity around it is right for you.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Girlprobs20
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That'ssuch good advice. I wish i could sit down and talk to someone. Thankyou soo much i should stop stressing and i shouldn't rush into making decisions Xox
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Heather
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Well, we're certainly glad to keep talking with you if you'd like. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Girlprobs20
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Thankyou very much. It was like today, i was saying about how men like annoyed me and stuff as a joke and my sis friend was like "oh you likes boobs now" and I felt extrememly awkuard because i haven't told anyone in my family how i feel apart from my mum, but i only told my mum a few years back about how i was feelings, And i have looked at a few pictures on the net, nothing too crude or anything like that.
If I decided what i was in the end, im not 100% sure how some family members would react because no one in my family is gay or they not had the kind of feeling i have and i don't know there views or opinions :-\

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Stephanie_1
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You know, most people go through times when they question. A lot of people don't talk about it with others, so even not knowing from them you can know people in your family have likely questioned that.

And it can certainly give you that jolt when someone says something and you're waiting to see how others react to it. I've not come out to my parents yet, so when people even joke with me about it in front of them I sit waiting to make sure everyone lets it slide off. It's a feeling you become more accustomed to over time.

Have you thought about trying to feel out the waters a bit? Maybe watching a movie or reading something and mentioning it that deals with sexuality?

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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Girlprobs20
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Really? I didn't know that.
And I'll probably will always be in question. What fims or documentries could i watch about sexuality? Or what books could i read?
I wouldn't evan know where to start looking. I've tried to type information before about sexuality but it hasn't really helped.
Will there be anything on youtube?

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