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Author Topic: Confused?
Emily Z.
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Member # 94665

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I wasn't sure as to where to place my topic. I have issues concerning my sexuality and what exactly does it mean to be aroused. I've asked these questions before in another forum but they told me not to worry about and I was hoping for a better answer. If you need me to clarify anything, just ask. Thanks in advance.

Right now, I'm 17 year old straight girl. Eve since I was 12 and a half I felt horny. I'm talking about the 'burning stomach' kind of horny. I don't know how to explain it. I just know it's not the clitoris throbbing kind. It's like the full body feeling. I feel it around my stomach/abdominal area and pelvic area and sometimes at my breast and thighs. I usually get this when I fantasize about guys or when my boyfriend kisses me. And it's more intense when it's a dream. This is the kind I actually like. I don't think I can masturbate when I feel this way, therefore no orgasm.

I also get another kind of horny that I can actually masturbate to. My clitoris starts pulsating and throbbing and I have the annoying urge to play with it. I have the urge to hump something or have something inside me. But this doesn't come when I think of men. It comes when I see naked women. Recently I've started watching porn, usually ones where the women have big boobs. And what really gets me going is when I imagine having their body and imagine touching my curves. I can orgasm to this. I've never imagined being in a relationship with a woman before nor do I think I plan to. I think as a child I'd look at a girl and be like "hey she's pretty, I wanna be her friend."

I remember as I child that I watched this one show where the girl was wearing something tight and I would attempt to be that way by pulling my shirt up halfway. I think i was trying to be sexy. Also, whenever I watched kissing scenes as a child, I had the feeling that I had to pee.
I'm so confused!!

[ 02-11-2012, 07:08 PM: Message edited by: Emily Z. ]

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eryn_smiles
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Hi Emily,

I think that all of the feelings and sensations you're describing could be signs of feeling "horny" or aroused.

This article explains more about recognising arousal:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/sexual_response_orgasm_a_users_guide

Many people will feel aroused by material in porn and fantasies that do not actually interest them in real life. That's pretty normal. So regarding your sexual orientation, it's best to pay attention to who you feel attracted to and aroused by in real life.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Emily Z.
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Oh okay, thanks! [Smile] I noticed that in real life I would look at girl's boobs and compare them to mine. I think it's a self esteem issue and I use it as an outlet for masturbation...? I don't know, haha.

Is it normal to have two kinds of feelings of arousal or are they supposed to be connected? I notice when I masturbate I don't get that burning sensation in my abdomen.
And everytime I masturbate, I never feel fully satisfied. What's up with that?

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eryn_smiles
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You mention about self esteem (or maybe body image?) issues- how do you feel about your body in general?

I think it is normal to have many different kinds of feelings and physical sensations in our bodies. With regards to masturbation, when you start are you already feeling sexual and aroused? Sometimes it can be a matter of experimenting with different techniques until you find what suits you. As well, if you find you enjoy fantasies and porn, and feel comfortable with that, you may decide to incorporate those in your masturbation and partnered sex-life. You mentioned that you enjoy fantasies about women, but that doesn't indicate anything about your sexual orientation.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Emily Z.
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Well, I'm not super obsessed with my body image. The only problem I have is my unsymmetrical boobs and love handles. And maybe my lack of butt. But, I'm not really worried about that. Plus, I think masturbating is toning my legs, haha. My main focus is my dark circles.

Yes, initially I am aroused but it's the annoying arousal feeling. It's like the urge to pee, I just have to get rid of that feeling. And while I'm masturbating I get that weird feeling when I take a cold shower. I don't know how to explain it. It just isn't the kind of arousal I enjoy feeling, the kind I've explained before.

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Saffron Raymie
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Just as a quick note; it's much more common to have one breast larger than the other than to have them be the same size. We don't see enough ordinary breasts in everyday life, but if we did, we'd realise how radically different they are from what's presented in popular culture.

If your love handles are by your hips and thighs - that's a place the body stores fat no matter what size we are, so that's very common too.

Arousal can be annoying if we don't fully want to be aroused at the time. Masturbation isn't the only way to stop feeling aroused if we don't want to feel it - and isn't a good idea if masturbation isn't something we want to do. Cold showers, movement and excercise, focusing on something else - like talking with others about anything - can distract us or decrease vasocongestion - something that happens with physical arousal.

[ 02-20-2012, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: Saffron Reimi ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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