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Not so lucky in Kentucky
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I am 24 years young and I have never experimented with another female, except for testing the waters with my digits and I was highly intoxicated so I don't think that really counts. My boyfriend jokes about having a three-some and I casually laugh about it, but deep down, I think I would want to eventually try it. It's as if I want to be with another female to try it out and see if I like it, but then when I think about who it would be with or thinking about details, then I start to psych myself out and think it's dumb.

I read in a certain magazine recently that guys don't joke about having three-somes. That it is either a real thing they want to do or just a fantasy that turns them on. But since I think he is being sincere in wanting to do it, it puts more pressure on me to find out if it is possible for me to be with a girl or to have a three-some.

I need help in what I should do to either, get rid of the feeling or learn how to open up to what I think I want...and not to mention I have no close girl-friends I feel comfortable talking about this with. I am scared to tell my boyfriend of my feelings because I don't know if I want to see his reaction to what I really feel deep down inside. Not that I want to only be with a girl, but just to experiment and have fun with one...so confused I am rambling :-/

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Not So Lucky In Kentucky

Posts: 3 | From: Bluegrass State | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
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Hello Not so lucky in Kentucky: Welcome to Scarleteen!

You know, what you're describing here is totally normal. Everyone will go through a time at some point in their loves where they may question their orientation, and whether or not they're attracted to someone of the same or opposite sex, or both. Have you found yourself emotionally and physically attracted to any other girls? Have you thought about discussing this with your boyfriend - letting him know that you're not sure how you feel or if you'd be open to the idea of experimenting at all should the time come, but that it's passed through your mind? Sometimes it can help to be able to talk openly and honestly with someone else. But how you're feeling isn't dumb at all, it's normal and totally okay.

Not sure about the article you read, but a lot of people joke about a lot of things that they may never really want to do.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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Cian
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I joke with my partner about threesomes frequently while we have both established that it's not really something we want to do for real. So I'd take the article with similar attitude as I would take an article that said that all women like pink.
Like Stephanie here said, it's perfectly normal to have these feelings and I too would stress open communication within your relationship.

Posts: 239 | From: Europe | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Not so lucky in Kentucky
Neophyte
Member # 58059

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Thank you very much for both of your responses! I actually did build the nerve to talk to my boyfriend about it (via text while he sat right beside me) and his response was much more relaxing than what I thought it would be. But now to just figure out what to do about the feelings...should I try to be with a girl and if I do, how would I go about finding the right one?

A tad still confused but a better confused than as of late.

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Not So Lucky In Kentucky

Posts: 3 | From: Bluegrass State | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I think one thing to just always remember is that none of us can be a representative for everyone of our sex or gender. So, if and when you sleep with another women, what you'll find out is what sex with *that* one person is like, not what "sex with women" -- which varies as much as sex with men can -- is like.

So, what do you want? It might help to kind of go back and identify how you felt when you knew you were curious about sex with men: how did you go about -- and how do you still -- seeking out male sexual partners? However that is, this isn't something radically different, it's going to be basically the same deal.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Not so lucky in Kentucky
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Member # 58059

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Thanks Heather! I will definitely keep all what you said in mind, if and when, I decide to pursue to be with a woman [Smile] I really appreciate all of the feedback I am getting. It is very helpful in understanding how I feel.

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Not So Lucky In Kentucky

Posts: 3 | From: Bluegrass State | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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