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Author Topic: Should I?
samanthamt
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It's been about 5 days since I told my therapist that I'm gay (I guess thats an ok term to use, I'm really not sure if I'm a lesbian or if I'm bisexual) and since talking with her I'm feeling better about my sexuality. I don't feel as much shame as I was feeling, partly because I'm letting myself be ok with it and probably a big part of it is because she reacted so well and is so accepting of me. I really want to ask this woman out, but is it too soon? Am I just rushing into this because I'm excited about this new chapter in my life? And if I am ready to ask her out, how do I go about doing it? I was thinking I would just casually ask if she was dating anyone, and if she said no then I was planning on asking if she wanted to get coffee or hang out somewhere, something low key. I'm just in completely unknown territory. Is there anything that I shouldn't do...?

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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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Heather
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I think whatever term you feel is best for you is okay to use. [Smile]

I'm glad you were able to come out to your therapist!

In terms of it you're ready for dating or not...well, do you feel ready for dating, on the whole? Do you have the time and energy for it? Do you feel confident enough, secure enough in yourself? Ready to manage others?

As well, are you ready to potentially be much more out?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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samanthamt
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Yes, I think I do feel ready to date. As far as having the time and energy for it, that's questionable. I don't feel like I have the time and energy to date just anyone, but she's different. I'm feeling more and more confident in myself every day. Coming out to my therapist has really helped my confidence, because she didn't judge me, she really didn't even blink an eye when I told her. As far as managing others what do you mean? Like ready to take someone else's feelings into consideration and support them? I am ready to be out more. I don't think I'm ready to be out to my immediate family, but as far as people that I just know from school or acquaintances, I wouldn't mind them knowing.

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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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Heather
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Okay, so it's sounding like you feel pretty prepped to try dating on in this case!

Remember: dating doesn't mean you have to dive into something big and serious right from the start. It's a process of getting to know each other and evaluating what you want, then taking gradual steps towards whatever that is. In other words, deciding to ask this woman out isn't about deciding to move in with her. [Smile]

By the way? I don't think there's anything wrong about wanting to take a step like this you feel you want to make because you're excited and feelings good. I think feeling good and excited about this and stepping forward from that place is awesome!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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samanthamt
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Yay! I thought I was ready but I wanted to get someone else's opinion before I did anything since I have like zero experience in this department [Smile] thank you for your help. The work you guys do here is amazing!

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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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Heather
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You're so welcome!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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samanthamt
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Just thought I'd share the good news, she said yes! I'm really excited obviously but also a bit unsure of...how to act I guess. Is dating a girl pretty much like dating a guy, except for the fact that its a girl?

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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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Heather
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Yep, pretty much, especially in the sense that everyone is all very different, no matter our gender. [Smile]

(Exciting!)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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samanthamt
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True, everyone is different [Smile] lol I'm probably overthinking it a bit, and I am so excited! Sucks that I have no one to tell except my therapist lol. Oh well, in due time.

--------------------
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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Heather
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We really need some kind of emoticon wearing a partyhat and blowing a noisemaker to use here sometimes. [Big Grin]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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samanthamt
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Haha yes, that would be perfect [Smile]

--------------------
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

Posts: 104 | From: U.S | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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