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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Is this normal

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Author Topic: Is this normal
adoug59
Neophyte
Member # 48365

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Ok so this is how it goes...

I like girls, I get crushes on girls etc. but sometimes I see cool guys at school, you know the ones who are good looking, athletic and have all the girls hanging off them. Anyway I see these guys and I don't like them but I want to be like them, cool like them. Is this normal? does this mean I could be bi? [Confused]

Posts: 2 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Galaxies
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Hey there!

I'm new here too, but I saw this post and thought I'd put my two cents in. From my experience, what you are experiencing is perfectly normal, hetero-normal even. It's pretty common to feel that sort of envy when they've got something that you wish you could have - in this case athleticism, good looks, or girls. Guys who are perfectly straight could feel that way.

But at the same time, if you feel that you have some sort of physical attraction to them, and not just their fortunate situation, then there is every possibility that you could be bi. But the important thing is to listen to what you feel. You only have to identify by what you feel comfortable with.

On a more personal note, speaking as a male who identifies as bisexual, I know that feeling. Sometimes, when I find my gaze caught by a guy, I realize that it's not an attraction to be *with* him, but more of an ache to *be* him. It's a little bit hard to explain.

But I hope that helps!

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One time
I fell from the galaxies
Onto a soft patch of
Grass.

Posts: 3 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Great advice, Galaxies! [Smile]

I think we can put aside "normal" because that's such a subjective thing, and when it comes to human sexuality, there's such diversity that "normal" isn't really real. So, notions of normality aside, how do you feel about these guys? Do you feel physically/mentally/emotionally attracted to them? Or do you have admiration for them? These are tough emotions to figure out, and you could feel both admiration and attraction. And all of that is fine. Like Galaxies said, you can ID however you feel most comfortable.

[ 08-16-2010, 02:58 AM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
adoug59
Neophyte
Member # 48365

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"Sometimes, when I find my gaze caught by a guy, I realize that it's not an attraction to be *with* him, but more of an ache to *be* him"

thanks Galaxies thats exactly how it feels. It also feels better to know I'm not the only one. [Smile]

Posts: 2 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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