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Author Topic: A Little Help Would Be Wonderful :3
Akira
Neophyte
Member # 47875

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Hallo! Help would be absolutely wonderful on this, I'm just a tad confused.. :3

I've been racking my brain for months trying to figure out what gender I'm attracted to. I've never crushed on anyone (that I can remember) and I've never kissed or dated. I'm 14 and a female, and for some reason everyone seems to be into dating now. I've never found either gender really attractive, but some aspects of either gender call to me or turn me off.

For women, it seems breasts are really distracting for me. They're just..pretty. I mean..I find them nice to look at, they don't turn me on or anything, but I find them..nice.
For men, I find faces nice to look at, but I don't enjoy facial hair, for some reason it kind of creeps me out. Also thick leg hair..

I don't notice much about people other than their personalities..I notice if they're smart or idiotic, or simply just nice or not...I've never noticed if they were 'hot' or 'sexy'..
Even if people talk about movies or people in them I just stare listlessly, I don't think of people as 'hot' or not, I just think of them as..nice.

I've been crushed on by people, and I feel bad for not returning the feelings, but it seems I just..can't feel them. What's funny is, I give relationship advice, to my friends and such, and it ends up working out for them, but for me it just..doesn't..I don't feel the feelings they do. It probably helps I've worked for years to keep straight faced, I hate when people know what I'm feeling, my default emotion is happy, or to take everything with amusement.

Gah..I've rambled..sorry..but..would anyone mind helping? It would be nice to know...

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I have a strange addiction to Silent Hill music. XD :3

Posts: 2 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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Welcome to Scarleteen. [Smile]

First of all, I'd try and let go of the idea that just because everyone else seems to be into dating, you should be too. (And I guarantee that not everyone is, although I know it's really easy to feel like the odd one out with things like this.) There's also no need to figure any of this out rightthisverysecond - while some people know very early on, pretty solidly, who they're attracted to and what their orientation is, for other people it takes years and can often shift over time. There's often no "aha!" moment, but a process of getting to know yourself over years.

For right now, the best thing you can do is just go with the flow and try not to stress about all of this too much. It may be that you haven't met that first person yet who will make you go all weak in the knees, or it may be that sexual/romantic attraction isn't going to play a huge part in your life, but either way, it's perfectly fine. For what it's worth, I didn't find myself really strongly attracted to anyone until I was about 17.

Hope that helps at least a little bit; I'm sure others will have some things to add but there's something to get you started at least.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Akira
Neophyte
Member # 47875

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quote:
Originally posted by Karybu:
Welcome to Scarleteen. [Smile]

First of all, I'd try and let go of the idea that just because everyone else seems to be into dating, you should be too. (And I guarantee that not everyone is, although I know it's really easy to feel like the odd one out with things like this.) There's also no need to figure any of this out rightthisverysecond - while some people know very early on, pretty solidly, who they're attracted to and what their orientation is, for other people it takes years and can often shift over time. There's often no "aha!" moment, but a process of getting to know yourself over years.

For right now, the best thing you can do is just go with the flow and try not to stress about all of this too much. It may be that you haven't met that first person yet who will make you go all weak in the knees, or it may be that sexual/romantic attraction isn't going to play a huge part in your life, but either way, it's perfectly fine. For what it's worth, I didn't find myself really strongly attracted to anyone until I was about 17.

Hope that helps at least a little bit; I'm sure others will have some things to add but there's something to get you started at least.

Thank you, Karybu :3
Actually, I've never really cared for dating..I'd rather stay friends, it would be nice to just get a definite on what gender I like, y'know?
And thank you so much for the response, it actually helped alot..
I was waiting for that 'aha!' moment... XD

--------------------
I have a strange addiction to Silent Hill music. XD :3

Posts: 2 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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