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DCB1993
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so, when i was younger, as i'm sure a lot of guys did, i sexually experimented with my best friend (who was also a male.) i was thinking, could this possibly be a cause of my attraction towards males?
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Heather
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What sexual behavior we participate in can't "cause" an attraction we don't have.

As well, it's likely part of why you engaged in that with your best friend was because of an attraction you already had before then.

At the current time, sexologists and other scientists are very clear that our sexual orientation -- whatever it is -- is at least partly fixed at birth; present to some degree before we even know what orientation is or are of an age where we're sexual with others.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DCB1993
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i was thinking i might have done that as a child because of early sexual attractions towards males as well, but one of my best friends is straight (and honestly kinda homophobic) but has admitted to me he and a male friend messed around during 7th and 8th grade, too
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Heather
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I think it can help to try and think of things like this from a standpoint of recognizing that ALL orientations -- including being straight -- are orientations, and that many people of all orientations have sexual experiences with those of more than one gender.

In other words, let's consider how many gay or lesbian people have had opposite-sex sexual experiences: it's quite a lot.

When people are first coming into their sexuality, it's common to experiment in many ways, including with those of varied genders. And that's true of gays, lebsians, bisexuals and heterosexuals. Overall, orientation is something we figure out over time, sometimes decades of it, not something we all just solidly know right at the gate.

As well, it's worth recognizing that often people who are homophobic are because they DO have feelings/attractions to those of the same sex and they are scared of those feelings.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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