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Author Topic: indian queer
loneranger
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umm hi...

not very sure how else to say it ...umm and got no other place to say it...so here goes

i m 21 queer closeted ...living in india......with no ideas of coming out here for the next 1 million years.....i just had to put all this thats in my head since forever...

i have always been attracted to girls ....but cant say it...anywhere.....no support groups....no "unhomophobic ppl " around .....everyone i know has a very "traditional " background who are all attracted to opposite sex ...and then there is me completely tomboyish ....and into girls ...(i used to like a guy who turned out to be gay [Wink] ).....

thing is all my friends (all girls ) have found their one person they love ....and i am well ... im a lesbian..who is trying for a post grad seat in a med school in US...because i cannot stand it any more ...having this constant war in my mind whther there is really something abnormal about me liking girls.....i cant help it ....but i dont have an answer...i am going mad.....it would have been better if i was asexual without any thoughts.....

i cant even tell anyone not even my BFF that my favorite novel is Fem-slash harry potter pairing...

i'm already an isolated person in my med school because i don't have any common interests with any one....this just worsens it......

i envy you ppl when u say i came out but i had a fight with my mum...see i cant even say that....

its saying that and losing my dream of becoming a Doctor OR keeping mum and losing my mind (which i guess i am )

............i know they are people who have come out in india...but at this point i dont earn money and my parents pay my fees and for my food....so they will rip me apart if that ever (i do mean RIP )if they come to know bout it.....

so basically i am depressed....(ah that really felt better )

[Smile] if nobody replies its really ok because coz ppl really dont know how to help me out...
i have been trying from the last 5 to 6 years ...and nobody actually replies [Smile]

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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eryn_smiles
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I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all this. And am just heading off to bed early today but we might have a bit to relate to each other as Im also a South Asian lesbian (and a doctor). Look forward to talking with you soon.

--------------------
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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loneranger
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[Smile] umm wow . . Was not expecting a reply so soon . . . Hoping to talk to you soon . . . . . . . . . . . . . To tell you the truth i was not even expecting a reply . . .

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Heather
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I was hoping eryn would show up. [Smile]

(I have to say, between the two of you, I'm thinking LGBT healthcare in SA might start getting a lot better! [Smile] )

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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loneranger
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[Smile]

i think posting on this message board was the best thing i did in 5 years. [Smile] ... its like i dont have a burden in my heart ........and saying i am lesbian here actually makes me feel so much better..........( considering that this is one of the first time i said it to real ppl )

(i dont feel like a freak.... i feel so much better )

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Heather
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If you're a freak, you're in excellent company. [Smile] Around 50% of our users/readers and our staff are LGBTQ.

I'm really glad this helped you out. I'd be happy to talk with you, but I actually think you and eryn would probably have a much more relevant conversation since she has lived in a nearly identical situation within the same kind of culture, something I know about to some degree, but not in this kind of personal way.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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loneranger
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[Big Grin] i always was so scared to post on your message boards .....(trying to since i joined med school4 years back )
.........
scared that someone would catch me posting this or that maybe ppl would not know how to reply or i dont know i always had million reasons not to (because maybe even i was not sure )

....am happy i finally did it.....am glad i finally found ppl to talk to...

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Jill2000Plus
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Welcome to the boards, and good luck becoming a time lord... oh wait, you meant the medical kind of doctor rather than the time travelling kind. I can see what you mean about other people's coming out stories, but I would say that some of those people become homeless because of their parents' prejudice. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with all this, I know how isolating it can be when it seems like everyone you know is prejudiced about the same thing, when I went to a christian school in devon there was loads of homophobia, actually more generally devon was like that. Not everyone there is like that, but the kids were either being pumped full of ignorance by their parents or kept quiet because they didn't want to be social outcasts.

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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loneranger
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i know that coming out to their families can be really tough to most people irrespective of the country they are living in......but here in india....the present scenario is pretty much how was 40 to 50 years back in most other countries...they are so prejudiced i almost want to feel sorry for their ignorance.....

recently the "Health minister " of the "whole country " made a statement saying Gay sex is unnatural........i feel bad that they always seem to think that LGBT ppl only want Sex in relationship unlike straight ppl

i even had a discussion with one of my very good friends about her opinion about ppl being gay....she came up with this answer " i really dont know why they so desperate to have sex ..that they have it with the same sex....cant they find someone of the opposite sex....."

i just feel .. i don angry ? at them that they seem to think that all we want is sex......

and continuing that discussion she was talking about her love life but then she stopped saying you would not understand ( i did not tell her i am a lesbian )you have never been in love......and then the topic eventually went into being gay and falling in love...and she just could not imagine that happening!! ( she representing the general way of ppl perceive gay ppl in my community )

i just wish i could tell her, i have fallen in love( ok not really love more like a huge crush ) many times ....and it always felt the same way she or for that matter any other straight girl at that age would have felt. (and it also accompanies the way am i feeling this ....am i abnormal?? what if anyone finds out and omg my parents will kill me DRama in my head every time i see my crush )

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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eryn_smiles
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I'm really glad to hear that talking about this here has been helpful for you. I've also found alot of comfort and support on these boards for which I'm grateful. I want to address the things you've talked about properly and will be back after the weekend, my apologies, as work is a bit hectic.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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loneranger
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[Smile] i can imagine how busy you can be ......

i am just going to rant a lot now.. pls just ignore it

(was feeling pretty depressed about many things today.........facing my exams in 3 months !! the whole "i am going to be a doctor" scares me immensely..the whole "what next"??? "when you getting married ?? "when will start acting like a girl " ??? "start losing weight at least now ! " has already started from my parents , my brother and my relatives.............in addition to i am supporting my BFF who has just lost her mother to cancer and who is struggling to tell her father and relatives that she wants to marry a "guy" from another caste .....and i keep supporting her every second.....and just as if i dont have enough i just took a task of supporting a junior in her studies because she failed in her exams......... and have i mention i have not started studying.......)

aand then i was sitting in a corner of my hostel reading your previous posts ( @eryn)( on my phone and i dont even know when that paart of my life will start....all my rants seem so insignificant in front of whats gonna happen 1 year frm now.

take your time to reply..........i know how hectic work can be on weekdays...and how tired one gets........

i am presently posting through an internet connection my father does not know i possess aand will kill me if he knew if i was posting on a "lesbian " site....making me even more guilty and depressed...... [Frown]

though the only thing that makes me smile is i have waiting for 15 hours to open my laptop cause i can post again and read on bigger screen [Smile] .(i have a night connection so i can post during the night when my roomie is sleeping )

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Smthng56
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Hello. When I saw your first post I thought that it sounds so much like me few years ago. I'm a queer man from another homophobic country, a doctor too. I was anxious and depressed over my sexuality for years and feeling of isolation was very familiar for me, so I feel for you. What helped me were counseling and, later, visits to LGBT center. I'm sure there are such kind of organizations in India? Anyway, through last years I understood that many of my fears were just in my head, that my feelings are as natural as they can be. You are not abnormal for sure, just like all other queer people [Smile] I can understand your worries about parents, I still have those too, but I think you should try to take it easy, you can't predict their reactions, it will probably take time for them to understand you anyway [Smile]
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loneranger
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hello [Smile] ......nice to meet so many docs [Smile] ....

thank u so much for sharing with me ( my idea dat i am medico freak/queer is evolving into i am quite normal [Smile] )

i was just looking over the web i did come across 2 or 3 LGBT support centers in a city which is 2 hours from where i stay ....

problem is they are dangerously close to where MANY of my cousins and relatives stay.....and i don't want to risk being caught by them......

i know i shouldn't imagine too badly about how my parents would react.....thing is i have always been the black sheep of my family...in been tomboyish ....in my habits, beliefs, political views, how i took science against maths.....how I prefer forensic science over becoming a physician ...last one irking my family a lot [Wink]

i think/imagine / know for a fact that by coming out to them will be the last straw.... i know they love me...( i talk to them for 1 hour daily over the phone... i live in a diff state ....in residential med school in a pretty rural area )
but i don know...

i am still trying to get this feeling sink in....that i have FINALLY accepted that i am a LESBIAN ....and am proud to be one..... [Smile]

maybe i will just live with this feeling for now....and think about coming out a little later .....maybe... i just don't know right now

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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loneranger
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Umm sorry if i am bumping too frequently on this thread . . . . . . I know you people are busy and have ppl with worse problems . . . . But i hope someone hears me out . . . I am feeling very depressed . . . I am scared because its bordering on suicidal thoughts . . . I have only one really close friend whom i thought will come out too in the very near future . . . But today we were talking about something . . I lead to a discussion about a girl whom i like . . . And i blushed . . . . And then she scolded me very badly and asked me to stop behaving so disgustingly . . . . . . . She has a boyfriend with whom she talks to day and night and i feel so jealous of her ( i hate being jealous i want to feel happy for her) . . . . That she can be in love and gets to talk to that person and i dont know where i stand . . . . . Maybe its the weather that makes me even more depressed . . . I feel i wish i too had some to talk to . . . . . . To fall in love with . . May be i will never find anyone . . . I dont even look so good . . I am so overweight i dont think anyone will even look at me even if i went straight . . . Am not sure of anything. . . Already i am very depressed about my studies because i have very low marks and i lost 6 months this year because i failed two subjects . . . I have not studied anything for my final year of medicine. . . My parents are pressurising me to pass all the subjects (they lost all confidence in me because i failed ). . . But . . . I dont want to pass like that . . . I really want to be a good doctor who i will be proud of . . . All my classmates are cheating to clear exams and they keep making fun of me because i dont . . . I dont know whom to talk to or what to do . . . . . . . . I am staying up till 3 or 4 in the morning thinking too much about to many things . . . Sometimes i just feel like jumping off this blasted building i stay in ..stupid thing is only 2 floors . . . So i dont think i will even break my legs . . . . . . . Why cant i be like everyone else . . . Why do i have to be so freaking different . . . ? I hate my self . . . For be being so freaking abnormal . . . . . .

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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eryn_smiles
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I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like this at the moment. Firstly, if you're having suicidal thoughts it's really important to seek support from a counsellor, doctor, or by calling a local helpline. Depression is a very hard thing to go through alone so please do seek help. You are a wonderful brave person and you are worth it. As well, you need to stick around because we really need good doctors who are compassionate and understanding towards GLBT people, you know [Smile] ?

I think it's horrible that your friend told you to stop behaving disgustingly. I want you to know that it is very common and normal to have feelings for the people of your own gender. Lots of us feel like this, even in India and other Asian countries. Just because many of us don't feel safe to come out yet, it doesn't mean we're not around. As well, not everyone will react as your friend did. In my experience, some of my Asian friends were very kind and accepting when I told them.

Regarding your schoolwork, is there anyone you could approach for help such as senior students, tutors or other academic staff? I think it's very admirable that you are not considering cheating like some of your classmates. Good on you! As you mentioned above, moving to the USA for studies could be a good option to help gain freedom and meet women. But even if you choose to stay in India, there are supports available. You talked about how the health minister called gay sex "unnatural" but were you also aware that the Indian high court decriminalized homosexuality in 2009? Since 2008, there are also large gay pride parades in major Indian cities (Delhi, Bangalore, Pondicherry, Kolkata, Chennai, Mumbai, Kerala). So it is getting better, although certainly not as fast as in Western countries.

I will also pass on some links to support organisations and blogs which you can look through and see if there is anything local. Hopefully some of this will also help you feel less alone:
http://www.sawnet.org/khush/
http://www.indiandost.com/gay_group.php
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2009-01-29/chennai/28020044_1_sexual-minorities-helpline-service-lesbians
http://www.asiawrites.org/2010/04/jiah-magazine-for-women-with-heart.html
http://www.youtube.com/user/brownlikeme

[ 09-18-2011, 10:14 PM: Message edited by: eryn_smiles ]

--------------------
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Smthng56
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Hey, I want to support you like Eryn_smiles did. I've had depression few years ago, I had suicidal thoughts, didn't want to continue work or study and just didn't see point in anything. I had to take a course of antidepressants and attend a counselor to get through that time. Now, looking back on it, I feel like it was some other person, not me. If you feel you need help, you should reach out for it. It gets better.
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mortarandpestle
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Hello,

To the OP, I came across your post by accident while looking for something else, and needed to reply. There very much are other queer people in India, both in the major cities and in smaller ones -- I am a queer woman who has been living in a major Indian city over the past 4 years and I've got to know just how far flung the networks are, so don't lose heart. This is a tough time in your life in any case, between med school and figuring out what to do with the rest of your life, and not being able to be open with other people about any of it must be making it even harder, but trust me, there are many of us out here, dealing with our families, old school friends who've seen us throughout our childhoods, workplaces, bosses, teachers, random men leching on the streets, all of it, and managing, still to live our daily lives the way we want to, loving and being with whom we want to. I just want to let you know that it's entirely possible, if you manage to find even a little bit of kindred queer community in your life.

On a practical level, on top of the links that the person above has given, there are also several orgs. with telephone helplines that might help you if you are worried about going there in person or accessing info online. I don't live in India anymore, so I haven't checked these numbers personally, but this is all the latest information I can find.

There is LABIA, based in Bombay: https://sites.google.com/site/labiacollective/. They say that the LABIA Phoneline is a phone line for LBT people to connect, talk about their concerns, and start the process of breaking out of the isolation that being queer often entails upon us even today. The phone line is open only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays from 5 pm – 8 pm at 9833278171.

There is TARSHI, based in Delhi: http://www.tarshi.net/ For free, accurate & concise Information on Sexuality and Reproductive Health Issues Call 26472229
9:30am - 5:30pm Monday - Friday
but I think they do not do counselling yet. They also have a list of other helplines across the country: http://www.tarshi.net/resources/other_helplines_list.asp?cat=Sexuality,%20Sexual%20and%20Reproductive%20Health

SANGAMA, based in Bangalore has several helplines 9945601651/52
9945601653/54
9945231493
080-23439124( LesBiT)
9945231494 (Samara)
On their website they have a list of queer groups in India and abroad that you can approach if you want to: http://sangama.org/

Sahayatrika, Trivandrum
Peer based information, support and counselling services for lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
Phone: +91 974 495 5866
Timings: Mon - Sat :10:00AM - 5:00PM
Email: sahayatrika@gmail.com

SAPPHO FOR EQUALITY is based in Calcutta. http://sapphokolkata.org/ Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transgender Women who are feeling unsafe, alone, under pressure, socially ostracized and need counseling can reach us through letters, emails and over telephone. We pledge full confidentiality.

Email
sappho1999@rediffmail.com
sappho1999@gmail.com

Address
11A, Jogendra Gardens (South)
Ground Floor, (Near Hindol Park),
Kolkata – 700 078

+91 33 2441 9995 (12 pm – 8 pm except Mondays)
Help Line - 098315 18320 (10 am – 9 pm)

Also, and this is important -- it is entirely up to you to decide if and when you want to tell people like your family or existing friends; don't feel pressured to 'come out' or put yourself in danger in any way because of your sexuality. Definitely try calling the helplines, definitely find people you can talk to and who will help you, but remember that you are the best judge of your circumstances in the end, and also the person most capable of changing them eventually. Best of luck, and feel free to send me direct messages on this site if you have any questions.

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loneranger
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@eryn- thank you so much for all your support.
[Smile] ..........i was going through the links yesterday till 3 in morning !! i loved the video..... never felt more alive [Smile]

i feel way better and not that alone [Smile] .
well about meeting a counselor .. thing is my college doesn't have one...and i am not too into the idea of calling a helpline ....what i did do i called my brother....who is helping me through this whatever it is .....

...i have been thinking a lot about what you said ..and you are right... I want to be here for LGBT ppl as a doctor who will NOT discriminate them....(that feeling is certainly boosting my energy levels when i am studying [Smile] )

@Smthng56 - thank you so much for your support ........the support you guys give me is awesome......that suddenly i keep smiling in between being "depressed" ( my friends are convinced i am going mad [Big Grin] )

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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loneranger
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@ mortarandpestle - hello [Smile] i just want to say how relieved i am to see your reply ... i know there are other queer people living in India...was not really sure when or how i would get to talk to one
...
thank you for posting those links i will go through them during the weekend [Smile]

.... just now i am not really thinking of the idea of coming out...just getting this feeling to sink in....that i am a lesbian ....from india and i am NOT alone or weird [Smile] ( trying to get rid of all the stupid excuses i used to give self for thinking the way i did )

umm i am not really sure how to send you a direct message though...i did want to ask you a few things...

thank you for supporting me just now .. [Smile]

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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eryn_smiles
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I'm glad to hear that you received support from your brother and that you are feeling better [Smile] .

You may also find this video interesting. It describes the lives and supports of a few queer Indian women living in USA. Some of them grew up in India:
http://www.youtube.com/user/ishitasfilms#p/a/u/2/FpLWv_bT7c4

Also I really agree with what mortarandpestle said:
"Also, and this is important -- it is entirely up to you to decide if and when you want to tell people like your family or existing friends; don't feel pressured to 'come out' or put yourself in danger in any way because of your sexuality. Definitely try calling the helplines, definitely find people you can talk to and who will help you, but remember that you are the best judge of your circumstances in the end, and also the person most capable of changing them eventually."

(Unfortunately the Scarleteen website doesn't allow exchanging of emails or private messaging between users for safety reasons. However, you can communicate freely on the boards, without sharing personal identifiable details, as they are a safe non-judgemental space.)

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Heather
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What an AMAZING list of links! You rock! I'm going to be sure all of those resources get added to our find-a-doc database ( which isn't just about healthcare services, but all kinds of in-person services) in the next few days. [Smile]

[ 09-21-2011, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jill2000Plus
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I just wanted to say that I hope things get better, and that I'm sorry if it seemed like I was telling you off before, I don't want to make sweeping generalisations about any country but if it is more difficult to be out where you are I do not want to minimise the pain and struggle of that.

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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loneranger
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i was feeling all normal and happy after talking to you guys here [Smile]
and then i was back talking to my friends...and then in the middle of some conversation one girl was like "DONT BE ALL LESBIAN about it " and she replied "HEY i'm not PEVERTED " and i just went blank sitting right in between them....... [Eek!]

and the other day we were in some shop and i was apparently staring at some girl (hey ! it was involuntary !! [Big Grin] ) and my friend was like hey! stop acting like a guy and all

i dont know now ... i'm not sure of what to think..... i know there will be homophobic ppl out there...but...its all so crazy just now.....half year of college and then one year of internship ......and then i should write 3 exams ( which will take say 1 and half years )before i come to the US... i dont know how i will survive without going mad !

my BFF is certain something has changed in my life ..........because i am more happy now .... i dont know how long i can stay before coming out ....but her boyfriend is VERY homophobic ..who thinks homosexuality is a disease which is VERY scared to even think of EVER bringing that up....

(.......and also a professor of mine who thinks i am very bad in studies( i am not THAT bad just a bit depressed at the moment )made me look like a Idiot in front of 30 of my classmates...havent been to college in 2 days....no plans to tomorrow either)

to cheer myself i just keep watching that video which eryn posted.......or read my books....
or the replies you guys posted

i was just thinking( just meaning 72 hours , i had a bad dream where i came out to family and my dad freaked out and started yelling..luckily i got up ) if i can ever come out to my family........or for that matter to anybody.....

went to Banglore(nearest city with a support group )yesterday......chickened out and..came back again.......

i cant pull myself to call any helpline ( thoughts like "if someone hears me talking " or what will i say " "i'm too scared - for god knows what reason ""what if i cry and someone hears " )

i am feeling pretty disgusted with myself ...you guys are trying so much to help me by posting them ...and cant even bring myself to call a helpline.......

what cant i just crawl into a tiny hole [Frown]
( just now my roomie ( my BFF ) is sleeping with here fav song " i'll love you till the end " dreaming of her guy...........and here i am all alone....

( i dont even know how it feels to hold someone's hand in yours .. someone you like or possibly love ........)

and now i think i going to crawl into that hole and wonder how it feels to fall in love ....

( i have grown sick of how pathetic i am turning out to be ) [Frown]

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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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loneranger
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umm i know i sound pretty desperate (i wish i was not , unfortunately i am ). Just hoping someone will say something positive.( i am tired of hearing 'you are a loser ' and 'stop acting like a lesbian' BS all week. ) and sorry i keep bumping this thread

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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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eryn_smiles
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I know it can be very hard when friends make homophobic comments. I saw your earlier post but wasn't sure I could write a good reply as I'd had my own experiences this week with a close friend who didn't "agree" with my sexuality. I think the main thing that helped me survive my family's and some friends' homophobia was finding like-minded people. Once I got to know a few gay and lesbian families who were very happy and successful, I knew in my heart that those hurtful comments weren't true and that I didn't need to take them in. It sounds like you're getting close to calling a helpline and going along to a support group. I can assure you that you're not pathetic. Reaching out takes real courage and I commend you for that. I have no doubt that you will find a loving partner in time. But the first step is to talk to one person in a setting you know will be confidential and supportive. It's ok to be scared or to cry when you need to. I know that you can do this.

Sometimes when I feel alone, I look up youtube videos from the "It gets better" project or from IDAHO (international day against homophobia) celebrations. Perhaps that might also be helpful for you. Do take care of yourself.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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loneranger
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@eryn -thank u for replying . . . . And also for those links [Smile] someone who was living in india in a similar condition and moved out of the country just talked to me by mail . . . . Am feeling a lot better now. Am sorry to hear about how your friend ( i know how awful that feels - i think my friend saw me posting on this site because she has been saying awful things about lesbians all week ) i guess all this is just a part of life . I have been thinking about it and decided that next month i will visit a drop in group in banglore cause i am not too sure of calling any helpline.( again a huge thanks for those links -you made my life less depressing [Smile] )

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Heather
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Eryn, loneranger, Smthng56 and anyone else who has grown up queer/is queer in a whole culture that is unaccepting (versus an area or community), I have an opportunity here I think is a good one.

I just came on board as a writer for the Huffington Posts' new LGBT section, which debuted today. I'd love to create some sort of roundtable for my next piece with young people like you to put some big visibility on what you're dealing with in the hope it can do something to help foster some change and support. We absolutely would NOT disclose anything identifying about you in it.

Interested? If so, let me know here and I can email any of you interested and get going on this.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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loneranger
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@ Heather - umm i am interested, though i doubt how helpful i can be , because i am right now closeted and have never met another queer person in person , so am really unaware of the actual LGBT scenario in my country.

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Heather
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Well, reading what you have said here, it seems very clear to me that you have absolutely picked up on and lived under the attitudes about LGBTQ in your culture. In fact, you've made clear that's WHY you're not out, yes?

In other words, I think most of what you've been saying here is clear evidence you are very aware of what it's like being LGBT in your country.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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loneranger
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yes, you are right ...( i was just in doubt a while ago ). Now i am interested and NOT in doubt about me being of any use [Smile]

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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eryn_smiles
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I am happy to help out too.

--------------------
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Heather
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Great! I'll start getting the questions together in the next couple of days. Looking forward to this! [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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eryn_smiles
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Loneranger, I was wondering how you're doing? All the best with going to that drop in group. You'll be great [Smile] .

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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loneranger
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hello again..... I know its been a long time since i last posted.......i got news.... But i am not figuring out how to take it just now ...after having sleepless nights since the last 2 weeks..... I finally came out to my BFF ....well initially she took it well(because i was crying all day before telling her ,it was pretty emotional-funny when i think of it now [Smile] )...now she is kinda like , "maybe you have not found the right guy yet and stop talking to those ppl " ...... I know its pretty hard on her ....knowing she comes from the typical traditional family........i just dont know what to say when she says stop talking with "them" - meaning you guys here [Frown] may be it was a bad idea. But whats done is done.....i wish i could make her understand i or we are not freaks. She is the only person i would have come out to........now i dont know what to feel. But on a happier note i would like to tell you @ERYN ..... I am trying to set a time for meeting that drop in group [Big Grin] ....hoping its as early as next week......i am pretty excited about that....... [Big Grin] will get back to you on that soon

--------------------
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

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Heather
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Do you think your friend is assuming that talking to people who support people being any orientation they feel that they are somehow is influencing yours?

In other words, do you think she thinks your orientation would change if you only talked to people who supported heterosexuality? If so, were you able to tell her that you did that for... well, sounds like most of your life, and that didn't change who you feel you are?

I'm so sorry that she's being unsupportive. [Frown]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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