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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Bisexual, maybe?

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Author Topic: Bisexual, maybe?
Member # 42971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cherrylea     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm 15 years old and I'm not quite sure what I can identify myself as. I am attracted to males and I'm dating one, but when it comes to females I am only attracted to a sort of tom boy who still looks very feminin. When I was ten I considered myself a lesbian and for awhile I could only masterbate to thoughts of females. Now I am attracted to males and females but I can't picture myself wanting anything more from a female other than sex and friendship. I'm very confused, if you have any expertise in this situation please help.

life's a giant weenie roast, and I'm the biggest weenie.

Posts: 10 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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Hey cherrylea!

It sounds like you could very well be bisexual as you say you're attracted to both women and men but not currently interested in a relationship with a woman. That said, please let me talk a bit more about bisexuality in general. How does this sound to you? Is being queer (to use an all-inclusive term meaning not heterosexual or not "straight") something you are or would be ok with? Is this something you've been able to talk to others about, such as your friends or boyfriend or a family member?

Our sexualities are quite fluid and our preferences can change over time. I'm not talking about sexual orientation as being a preference but our preference in terms of who we would like to date or have sexual/romantic/emotional relationships with. Some people who are bisexual find themselves attracted to men and women "equally" whereas many others go through periods of time where they find themselves more attracted to or dating one gender. It's all ok! The basic definition of bisexual is attraction to men and women; sometimes people will use the term pansexual to be more inclusive of genders. However, you can call yourself whatever you like or totally reject labels all together!

I totally get wanting to know "what am I?" but there's also something to be said about just enjoying your relationships and attractions to individuals as they arise and just going with the flow, dating whom you're attracted to and who's interested in you and seeing what happens. Could you please clarify your comment about being attracted to feminine "tomboys" because I want to reply but I also want to be sure I understand you correctly. [Smile]

Here are some articles you may be interested in for more information. Please check them out and then let me know what you think!

The Bees and...the Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer
Bi the Dozen: A Bisexuality Quiz
Boys Will Be Boys...or Not? Straight Talk About Gender
Living without Labels
She's a tomboy so she likes girls, right?
I'm 15 and bisexual, but how do I know for sure?
Am I too young to think I'm gay?
I thought I was gay but now I'm questioning my sexual orientation
Attracted to women 24/7, but attracted to men in my fantasies--does that make me bisexual?


Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43029

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first, ecofem, im so sorry for replying in the wrong forum area. i did it about 2 or 3 times before i went bak and saw your reply. please forgive me.
second, cherrylea, i totally understand what you mean! i sometimes feel that way too. the next time it crosses your mind, sit and think about your feelings. do you just like the feeling of sex or are you truly attracted to girls?

Love is when, against your own will, you feel as though you would do anything for that one person to put their happiness first.
Lust is B.S. You feel it sometimes, but, unlike love, you can't go along with it.

Posts: 32 | From: Texas | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Cherrylea, this new advice answer might also be of use to you:

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43185

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i totally know how you feel!
i have the same problem.

Posts: 5 | From: Ireland | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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