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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » I think I'm a lesbian... Do You?

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Author Topic: I think I'm a lesbian... Do You?
sierra.sweet
Neophyte
Member # 44506

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OK so here it goes... I used to say I was bi.... until I dated someone at 17 and fell in love... then he came out of the closet and I was hurt. I got a job at an adult store and became very into women, I got a strap on and brought home lesbian porn several times... My mom wasnt happy. So over time I only dated guys and claimed to be straight... although I always would see genderqueers and imagine what it would be like to be with them... some of them called me a tease, but NONE of them tried to get with me. Until about 2 weeks ago. It happened... I got with this chick and I went stupid... shes all I can think about and then I stopped to think. I only screw guys when I'm fucked up, of if I feel like I have to for them.... it's never me who wants it... I pressure myself into it.... but I love to be played with... just not screwed by a dick... But when her and I are together all I wanna do is fool around... 3 weeks ago, i was miserable.. out of another bad relationship and now I'm listening to music and dancing around like a fool. so knowing this... would you say that I'm gay, and I've been hiding it? ps... my first experience was with women... when i was like 13... it was 3 or us and we all went down on eachother...

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me, but happy...

Posts: 1 | From: portland, oregon | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bonnie.N.Clyde
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Member # 34135

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I don't think anyone on this site can say you are gay. You'll have to figure that out yourself, but I think what's safe to assume is that you are having a good time with this girl. That is great. It's good to feel good!

About guys-- by "****ed up", do you mean on substances? Just.. please be careful with that. Hook ups are something I'm studying in my sociology class, and although they can be empowering and fun with either gender, just be aware of your surroundings and who you are with. You don't want something uncomfortable to happen to you. Be in control of your situation. [Smile]

Don't get bogged down by labels, especially this early in your findings. What you know is you like this girl! Good luck!

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"And when everyone is super, no one will be."

-Syndrome, "THE INCREDIBLES"

Posts: 116 | From: Olympia, WA | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

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I agree

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
vshanti
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 43159

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Hi sierra.sweet!

It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to define your sexual identity. Although it may be tempting to want to find a clear-cut label with which to describe yourself, the reality is that most people's sexual desire escape classification; there is a broad spectrum of attraction and identity, and by no means does (or should) everyone identify with the labels "heterosexual," "bisexual," or "homosexual."

quote:
I got a job at an adult store and became very into women, I got a strap on and brought home lesbian porn several times... My mom wasnt happy. So over time I only dated guys and claimed to be straight
You mentioned that your mother was unhappy about your attractions to women. Has the subject come up again, since you have been seeing your current partner? Do you still feel that you need to hide your attraction to women?

quote:
although I always would see genderqueers and imagine what it would be like to be with them... some of them called me a tease, but NONE of them tried to get with me. Until about 2 weeks ago. It happened... I got with this chick and I went stupid
I'm a little confused about this part of your question. If you were experiencing attraction for individuals who self-identified as genderqueer, then it doesn't follow that they would identify as "chicks" or women.

I can't define your sexual orientation for you; it really isn't that clear-cut for anybody. I would advise you, however, to take some time for yourself before you get heavily involved in a new relationship. If you got out of an emotionally difficult relationship 3 weeks ago, it's possible that you might need a little more time and some self-care before making a new emotional commitment. In the end, though, you know your situation best!

--------------------
Vanessa

I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe...
I do, I do, I do.


Posts: 140 | From: Montreal | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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