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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Bisexual or just bi-curious?

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Author Topic: Bisexual or just bi-curious?
Lilly the fish
Neophyte
Member # 44156

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I am 13 & this is what I like to call 'my story':

Apart from a short-lived phase I had when I was about 10, I have pretty much always considered myself heterosexual. Only recently have I started to question my sexual identity.

I moved schools this term and have therefore been confronted with a whole new set of teachers - something which would not normally excite me, except this time I have developed an increasing interest in one of them. Who happens to be female. It would be fair to say that I have a crush on her to say the least. For reasons which are inexplicable to myself I am very emotionally attracted to her.

The strange thing is that I am not romantically drawn to other girls/women, only her.

Is this kind of attraction common and more or less meaningless? Or does it mean something? (And just to clarify I am not planning to act on this AT ALL)

Also, I've heard that bisexuality is linked to a high level of masculinisation in women. I enjoy being feminine and wearing pretty clothes, etc. and I was wondering if this is true to any degree.

Posts: 3 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I can't tell you what kind of level of meaning an emotional attraction to a given person has for you. But what I can say is that often, no matter our orientation, we're not emotionally or sexually attracted to everyone in one group all at once, if you follow me. There's pretty much always that first someone we have romantic feelings for at some point.

I also can't speak to if the attraction you're feeling is "common and more or less meaningless," because I'm not sure what you really mean by "this kid" of attraction. Do you mean to a given person of a given gender? Do you mean to a teacher?
quote:
Also, I've heard that bisexuality is linked to a high level of masculinisation in women. I enjoy being feminine and wearing pretty clothes, etc. and I was wondering if this is true to any degree.
Bisexual women -- just like lesbian women and straight women -- all have a wide range of gender identity. There are femme bisexual women, like you, there are butch bisexual women, there are bisexual women who fall between those two poles. And our gender identity is something we choose, not something that is created by whom we have relationships with or have sex with. In other words, the idea that sex with women can "masculinize" us (whatever that means) is a false one, just like the idea that women being attracted to, or having sex with, men would "feminize" us would be. My guess is you probably got that idea from people/cultural ideas that are about homophobia or biphobia.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lilly the fish
Neophyte
Member # 44156

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Thanks. It makes sense that those kinds of stereotypes do not apply to everybody. Outside the media and the pristine world of film I've seen a few gay/bi people (parents of friends mainly) who do not fit into those neat categories which have been constructed by homo/biphobic society.

Also, when I said 'this kind' of attraction, I meant to a given person of a given gender, rather than a teacher specifically. I was wondering if those kinds of feelings are relatively 'normal' - for want of a better word - within adolescents who are questioning their sexuality?

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- L

Posts: 3 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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