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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » "talking gay"?

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Author Topic: "talking gay"?
Member # 9745

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Hi all-

First of all, I would like to apologize because the following question can perhaps be percieved as quite bizarre and/or quite naive :-). However, I am asking because I just don't know what to make of something, and would like to hear some opinions on it:

My sister came to my kind-of boyfriend's house the other day to pick me up. She met him then and there for the first time. One of the two things she said first about him as we were driving home (just she and I) is that he has a lisp, and talks as if he were gay. It hadn't bothered me until she pointed it out. Now I'm stuck with this little agitating opinion my sister threw at me and I'm trying to not let it bother me as best as I can.

So, my first thought was- Does he have a lisp? I can't tell. He says his "S"s, but I guess he does say them a little differently than most guys I come across.

Secondly, I know that there is a stereotype for the way gay men/boys speak. Their voices are high, expressive, and do have a slight lisp. However.... It can't possibly be true that ALL gay man speak this way. So, if not all gay guys speak with a lisp, wouldn't it make sense that maybe some straight guys DO?

Things like this really bother me, because they are attacks on other people. Whether they are directed at myself or other people, I just never know what to do with them so they fester :-\ Hmph.

Opinions/Theories/Stories/Comments are welcome and appreciated :-) Thanks!

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but in the end is right
i hope you had the
time of your life"

Posts: 150 | From: !USA! | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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That is a stereotype.

Just like anyone else, all gay men do not have the same voice or manner of speaking. And a lisp is a speech impediment. Most people with a lisp (like Drew Barrymore, not a gay male) have always spoken that way.

Do SOME gay men affect their speech intentionally as an indentifier? Sure, some do. The thing about stereotypes is that they sometimes wind up being trueisms that become part of a given culture, and people end up adopting them as a way to ID.

But it's not an insult, anyway, to say someone "talks as if they were gay," because it's not an insult to BE gay. So, with a comment like that? personally I'd just respond with something benign and totally unaffected like, "Well, isn't that interesting you think so."

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 19692

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Not only is it a stereotype, but there are some accents which can sound like a lisp. Several of my professors have had unusual accents, and some of them do sound as if they are lisping. There are loads of things that contribute to the way someone speaks.

"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

Posts: 407 | From: Georgia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Biguy(formerly AmberTS)
Member # 29192

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Definately a stereotype. I am a male ts, and I speak with the same tones and voice of an average male(cuz I haven't come out yet). My nickname is Squeaky, cuz my voice is going through puberty and is still a bit high, but definately a stereotype. Almost all the gay guys I know talk like any other guy.

Used to think I was transsexual, after further consideration, a feminine bisexual male =P

Posts: 25 | From: United States | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29057

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Stereotype. I have two guy friends who "talk gay" and both of them are straight. My father doesn't have a high voice, but does have a lisp. My straight cousin has a high voice but doesn't have a lisp. The way you talk has nothing to do with your orientation.

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Posts: 31 | From: Washington | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30307

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there are some people who will have a lisp and some that dont, I have abit of a lisp but I havent told anyone about me being gay, but everyone thinks its wierd that a *cough* straight guy *cough* has a lisp
Posts: 7 | From: canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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