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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Not really sure what I am....

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Author Topic: Not really sure what I am....
Shadow Phantazy
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Hehe, kinda a weird topic for a first post...

Geez, where to start?
Well, up until recently, I've concidered myself asexual, which is basically a person who feels no sexual attraction towards either gender. (For more info: http://www.asexuality.org/)
I can tell when a guy or a girl is handsome or pretty but I don't really feel any further attraction than that. And, the thought of having sex with any of the people I know now doesn't interest me at all. In fact, it's actually kind of a turn off to me...

But, lately, I think I might have more of an attraction to girls. It's kind of hard to explain and I think a lot of it is influenced by my interest in art, as strange as that sounds. There's something about the female figure that is... well, I don't really know what word to use for it, but I'll just say I enjoy studying and drawing females a lot more than drawing males.

But, even though I'm interested (for lack of a better word) in the female body, as I said earlier, there aren't any real* girls I'd like to start a relationship with.
So, I guess my question is, what do *you* think I am? Bi, gay, straight, asexual? All/None of the above? XD I think my close friends and family would accept me no matter what, it's just bothers me that I don't know exactly where I am...

Thanks to anyone who bothered reading all that. And sorry for the long post. ^^;

(*I'm really lame and I think I might have a crush on a couple anime girls, but that's a whole other story.... To be honest I'm not exactly sure what constitutes a crush and what doesn't. Like, is it even *possible* to have a crush on something that isn't even real? ....Yeah, I know I'm weird.)

Posts: 3 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fonz
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hehe anime rocks! i had a bit of a thing from ash in pokemon when i was younger....

but anyways-i went through the whole what sexuality am i freak out too so the best advice i can give you is calm down and know that whatever you end up being you're still you first and foremost and also that whatever is ok! [Smile]

dont worry so much, you'l have plenty of time to figure that out.

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Nothing is right, but its perfect

Posts: 78 | From: Inner Sanctum | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
feefiefofemme
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As far as your sexuality goes, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You're young, you have a lot of time ahead of you. Keep in mind that some people don't figure out their sexuality until they're well into adulthood. While it might seem like you have to know for sure everything about yourself, this really isn't the case. For now, I suggest you do some reading up on sexuality, take some time to just think about things, and relax. Everything will likely fall into place with time.

Also, not being attracted to anyone you know currently does not nessacarily mean you're asexual. Sometimes, you just haven't met anyone who "does it for you" yet.

As per your crushes on anime characters, I used to have feelings like that too. I've always thought it was just part of a certain coming-into-my-sexuality period of my life. It was kind of like it was too real and scary to have a crush on a real person, so I had feelings for book or comic characters. One of my biggest fictional character crushes? Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter books. Definitely not the movie actress, but the book character. I actually still think she's pretty sexy. If she was real, I'd totally be in love with her. :)

Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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The Bees and...the Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer might be a helpful read. Actually, the main site has an entire Gaydar section that might help shed some light on sexuality and orientation in general. [Smile]

(And I must say, I just spent two hours on MI's Pine River and it was quite exciting.)

[ 08-01-2006, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: ookuotoe ]

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Shadow Phantazy
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Fonz: I think I kind of had a crush on Ash myself, back when Pokemon was still popular. Wrote a bunch of crappy fanfiction about him and everything, XD.

But seriously? It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who went through the whole sexuality panic thing. I keep reminding myself that it doesn't really matter; I am who I am, but sometimes it does bother me that I don't know for sure.
But, I'm sure I'll figure it all out with time. (I'm just really impatient, hehehe)

BiGoddess: Thanks, I know I probably shouldn't worry about it so much, but seeing my friends who already what they are makes me wish I could figure out what I am. I'll take your advice about reading up on sexuality a bit though and I'll try to relax some.

And, Hermione is awesome, BTW. =D

Ookuotoe: Thanks for the link. I've skimmed the site a little already, but I don't think I've read that specific article yet. I'll be sure to check it out when I get time.

(Pine River, hm? I don't think I've heard of it before... Is it in the Upper Peninsula or Lower Peninsula? And what exactly did you do there? I'm curious because I could use some excitement myself and if it's nearby I might have to convince my family to check it out. =))

Posts: 3 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fonz
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no problem, i wrecked my head over that for a really long time and now i finally realised there are better more important things to think aboutlike my my leaving cert next year (Thats the exam we do in ireland to determine where we get accepted to college.)

so, dont worry be happy! and please dont feel like you ever have to label yourself just to fit in/stand out or whatever. i think that was part of where i was coming from and when i finally started to gain some self-acceptance i was and am now much happier. [Smile]

Good to know i'm not the only one with the pokemon fetish!!! lol [Smile]

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Nothing is right, but its perfect

Posts: 78 | From: Inner Sanctum | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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(The Pine is in the lower peninsula, near Cadillac if that helps. I went kayaking on it yesterday but rafting, tubing, and canoeing are also options, complete with nearby rentals, if your family is interested. If you're not anywhere near there we can start another thread in It's All About You about nifty stuff to do.)
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virginia36861
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I would say the World puts to much emphasis on ones sexuality and there is nothing wrong with the fact that you are still "finding" yourself in this world. Be Patient and Never rush into anything you are not sure of. This world is Full of Gays, bisexuals and even people that are not sure of which way to "steer".. I would say that you are Perfectly normal and just need to Find yourself in ways other than what "sex" you prefer at this time. you say you enjoy art; I would say that when you are ready, you will know it and then you can experience what you want in a realionship.. then if it doesnt feel right, you will know it.. There is no wrong way or right way to feel, just be yourself and be happy and do not worry what others think.. No one else has to walk in your shoes and live your life..You will figure it out when the time comes, just allow it to find you so that you wont regret anything in the future.. good luck

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Virginia

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Shadow Phantazy
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ookuotoe: Rafting, tubing, and kayaking all sound like fun, but my parents are paranoid about me doing anything that involves water deeper than 3 feet because I'm not very good at swimming. >_<

If you'd like to continue this elsewhere, that's fine. Do you want me to make the new topic or will you?

Virginia: Thank you. I try to not let this bother me; it's really not that important to me or any of my friends/family, but occasionally something happens that has me worrying about it again. Though it does makes me feel a lot better to know that what I'm going through is normal.

Posts: 3 | From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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