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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Am I asexual?

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Author Topic: Am I asexual?
Member # 110057

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Ever since I went into kindergarten, I have liked boys. I would have crushes on one person at a time and they would last years. At this point I am pretty certain that I am heteroromantic. However, I have always been a little bit confused about sex.

I thought I'd "grown into" sex and it would no longer be revolting to me, but I am almost 19 and I am nowhere near that point. I have even tried looking at pornography out of curiosity and I just feel like a scientist watching rabbits mate.

However, I had a boyfriend that I was with for 2 years and I loved making out with him. We never had sex, but kissing did get very intense and I genuinely enjoyed it. We were in love, though, so I'm wondering if I'm demisexual? I have no idea right now. Please help.

[ 04-13-2014, 01:15 PM: Message edited by: Anony-mau5 ]

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Executive Director & Founder
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An aversion to sex and a disinterest in sex are very different things. Asexuality, as a term people use to describe orientation, is really about disinterest rather than aversion.

In a lot of ways, aversion to something cannot usually tell us much, if anything, about what we are interested in. For example, someone is has an aversion to men does not automatically have an interest in women, and their aversion to men gives us no information about that. Get what I am saying?

I think it is safe to say more people than not feel more passionate and sexual with people they have some kind of relationship with than not. Demisexuality is a term some people use for that, but honestly, a majority of people are this way most of the time, it is not something unusual or rare.

I would have to know more about the aversion you are describing to say more about it, but right now, what I am simply hearing is that with the one experience you had with a partner, you enjoyed the sexual contact you had. And we really cannot generalize much about patterns with just one experience to draw from.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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