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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Sex?

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Author Topic: Sex?
CuriouS GeorgE
Member # 3136

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I want to talk about something for a minute or two. You know what I don't understand? Why if you choose to be a lesbian, bisexual or gay, you have had to have had sex before with another woman (les) or man (gay) ?!?! That doesn't make sense to me. People always seem to think that if you are gay, bi or lesbian, you've had sex to "make that decision." Do you guys know what I mean? It just doesn't make sense. I mean, a lot of people grow up straight without having sex, so why can't g/b/l people grow up g/b/l without having sex?!! It kinda makes me frustrated. Someone asked me if I ever did anything with another female to know that I was bisexual. (When I told them I was.) Of course, it really wasn't any of their business if I had ever been intimate with another woman or not so I didn't tell them the truth. I have been with another woman and yes that did "help" me decide, or even better, helped me realize that I was bisexual, but it's not that way with everyone. Does anyone else feel the same way that I do?!

CuRioUs GeoRGe

Love is an irrisistable desire to be irrisistably desired.
-Robert Frost

Posts: 76 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2297

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I'd be inclined to say that a person's desires control their sexuality, not who/which sex they have slept with. I've never had sex with a guy, but I have with a girl, and I certainly don't need to compare experiences to know who I am. To me, it's all about who I am. Yes, it can be irritating when people you know ask "how do you know you're bi/gay?" but for me, the best thing to respond with is "How do you know you're straight?"

Hugs & Scully & Reyes,
Winnie :0)

Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 802

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I remember after the first time I kissed a girl, I thought "yay! Now I can really call myself a lesbian!"
Posts: 582 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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A girl in my school is still trying to convince me that there is no way I'm a lesbian if I haven't even kissed another girl. So, unfortunately, yes, I totally relate to anyone with that problem. Everytime she says it I feel like stapling something to her head.
Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5317

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Slayer_gurl, you must have more self-control than me. I'd always be tempted to offer to kiss her, regardless of how good of an idea that might actually be. (Assuming I was in your position, of course.)

I really kind of wonder where ideas like that come from, though. Along with other classics like "Don't all lesbians shave their heads?"

Sapphire Cat
The world needs me, to know not everyone is the same.
Artist, poet, programmer, dreamer, and crossdressing bondage kitty

Posts: 235 | From: Louisville KY (St. Matthews) | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Confused boy
Member # 1964

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I have the opposite problem! People insist that I MUST be bisexual (if not gay) because of a few ramblings I blurted out when I was drunk. A friend of mine is quite certain I am, whereas I am still undecided! Still at least they are accepting, just a little too encouraging.
Posts: 711 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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