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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » STRESSED

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Author Topic: STRESSED
m:i-2
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Member # 5988

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Lately I've been stressing a lot over my sexuality.I have started to have a thing for girls lately.Usually Im an all boys chick but these last few months I have started to like girls to.I dont no what to calll yself straight gay bi?It just all feels so new to me and I am not really sure how to deal with it I'm having a hard time with trying not to fight it off.It's making me really unhappy so anyadvice you can give me I would be really greatfull.thanx

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Abby


Posts: 11 | From: Ireland | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TenohSetsuna
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Calm down. I know very well that this seems really hard, because you're freaking out, and you know what? I did the same thing. Get yourself some ice cream, and eat it while watching your favorite TV show or something.

You don't need a title for yourself right now. That seems kind of like you'll be floating in space, lost, but just leave them be for a moment. You need to just feel comfortable with yourself first. I'm pretty bad at reading stuff people write and interpreting it, but you seem seriously freaked out, as in ripping your hair out freaked. That won't go away overnight. However, I suggest that you visit the library. I know nothing about how liberal Ireland is, but I grew up in a reasonably liberal city(I don't live there anymore, alas), and there were at least four or five really good books on homosexuality in the young adult section. Most of them say basically the same thing, i.e., don't sweat it. Pretty much they're useful for a breather of "Hey, there are people who aren't homophobic out there! Dude! Sweet!" And besides, libraries are just cool.

I can't give you a step-by-step guide on how to come to grips with yourself, or, actually, tell you if this is only a phase or not. It could be only a phase. On the other hand, it could not be a phase. Speaking from the point of view of someone for whom it wasn't a phase, I would like to comment that either way, it's okay, and what other people say doesn't change who you are. I was told by someone who I trusted deeply that it was probably a phase, and they still are kind of "yeah, well, are you absolutely positive," no matter what I tell them to the contrary. Now I'm off topic, I think. I'm terrible at this.

I don't really know what else I can tell you, exactly. I'm not an expert on anything, not even the numerous molds in my refridgerator. So post something if you need help.
--Haruka


Posts: 102 | From: SoCal | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Welcome! Sexuality can be a confusing thing - especially when you're trying to label yourself. My advice is to just ignore the labels and do what you feel is right for you.

Going to the library is a wonderful idea and we have some articles right here that will give you more information:

The Bees and...the Bees. - http://www.scarleteen.com/gaydar/basics.html

Gaydar, - http://www.scarleteen.com/gaydar/index.html
An entire section talking about what homo/bisexuality is and how to deal with it.

Also, use the search function to look up similar threads. Other people have gone through the same thing and reading about their experiences might help you out a bit.

Good luck!

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 12-01-2001).]


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TenohSetsuna
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Another thought:
Try writing. Get a notebook and just write. I write to just get stuff onto paper, and out of my mind, not so much to forget about it, but to just rant/rave about it randomly. Free verse poetry is good, too. It's meant to be raw, a lot like human emotion, which doesn't come in Shakespearean verse. Even writing mindless swear words helps, sometimes.

If your parents or siblings are nosy, hide it somewhere, like on the roof(maybe not on the roof...).
Good luck--
--Haruka

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"I never said I was a boy." - Tenoh Haruka, episode 92, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon


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italianboy84
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This is part of the answer I posted before to a guiy who had your same problem. I hope it will be of some help

..I think this sign clearly shows that at our young age we may have confused feelings. We're teenagers...sexual orientation can be confusing, but then it should get more clear. I personally had homosexual feelings for one year when i was like 15, and I personally got closer to faith. To me it was hard because I've always dreamed of a family, I started to pray and now I can still dream of the family and a woman to love. I came out of it, also because I wasn't that happy with those homosexual feelings, they didn't fulfill me. This is MY experience.
Many other people had different experiences, of course....

Don't "Label" yourself now, it will not do any good to you.

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I love God, I believe that my virginity is a gift to be given to the woman of my life, at marriage, with God's blessing. I love and respect life.


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m:i-2
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Thanks for your ideas I have read some of the articles on the site and they are really a good help.I dont feel so alone anymore.Thanks for your help.
Posts: 11 | From: Ireland | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hotbuttered101
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Hey MI2

When I first started having feelings for other girls, I was extremely confused. That was almost 2 yrs ago. Right now I'm very happy to call myself bi. I suppose you just realise what your feelings are/mean as you live through them. Over time you'll know. Right now...Just live. Don't deny your feelings and don't force them. What comes, comes. The only thing I wish I did more of when I started having 'those feelings,' is finding out more about it online. I think it would have helped a hell of a lot if I was talking to people with the same/similar feelings. It helps me a lot now. Online there are a hell of a lot of sites aimed at poeple going through what you are. Like this site for instance. Run a search and explore


Posts: 86 | From: South Africa | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TenohSetsuna
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Hotbuttered101 got it right. The internet is awesome. But if you share your computer with other people, be careful who's watching you. I learned from a bunch of really close calls.
--Haruka

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"I never said I was a boy." - Tenoh Haruka, episode 92, Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon


Posts: 102 | From: SoCal | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
m:i-2
Neophyte
Member # 5988

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I share my computer with a ll my family and have had a close call already so now I really get what your saying about it.Ya this site is really really cool.It helps a lot to talk to others about things with others.I have looked up some of the resources helped a lot.thank you

Posts: 11 | From: Ireland | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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