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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Coming out at school...

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Author Topic: Coming out at school...
Alaska Rose
Member # 5623

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I go to a very small school where, for the most part, the students are accepting of any sexual orientation. But I can't find the best way to 'come out,' though I don't like using that cliche (it sounds odd to me). One of my friends just let her friends spread a 'rumor' and when asked about it, she didn't deny it. I don't know of anyone who I could go up to and say, "Can you spread a rumor about me that says I'm bisexual?"

Another friend recommended I buy a button that says I'm bisexual (which I can even get at Hallmark) and not deny when people ask me if I am.

I just don't think I have the courage to do either. Maybe the second suggestion, but it's not likely.

Any other suggestions? I'd greatly appreciate it if someone could help me.


Posts: 1 | From: Salcha, Alaska, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2297

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I've come out at school, and I found it was easiest just to be myself. The whole thing started as a letter to my ex-boyfriend saying that I was cool with us breaking up and confessing a few things. The letter got into the hands of one of his friends.

Nowadays I just blab on about Gillian Anderson and people eventually figure out I;m not straight.

I was at a writers retreat with school a few weeks ago and we had to bring an item that symbolized an important choice in our lives. I chose to bring my copy of "Sojourner" that I was interviewed for.

I saw the article as me telling the world I didn't care who knew about my sexuality. There were about 40 people sitting in the circle, some I knew well others I didn't. I pretty much came out ad-lib to them all.

How did I do it? I had the support of my teachers. I'm lucky that they are so understanding. I feel they empowered me in a way.

If you want to tell some/all of your teachers about your sexuality, you could talk to them. I told one of my teachers through a journal I was keeping for a class. However you like.

With your friends don't treat it like a big deal. For example, if they start asking you who you think the hottest celebrity, mention someone of the same sex as you. They'll get used to it and most likely accept you as you are :0)

Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 168

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Try going with the "whenever it comes up" route. There's no need to make an announcement. After all, could you imagine a straight friend wearing a button saying "I'm Straight"? Probably not, because sexual orientation is assumed to be straight until learned otherwise. But there's not much of a reason to make it into an event. Next time someone asks who you think is hot, just say someone of the same sex. Or tell someone about the pride event you went to last week. Don't make it into a rush, just take your time. And check out Heather's nifty article on it:

*Limes Are Sublime*

[This message has been edited by PoetgirlNY (edited 10-22-2001).]

Posts: 1101 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5640

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I, myself, have not personally come out at school yet, except to the limited people that I feel I can trust and will love me no matter what I tell them. My best friend, however, did choose to come out at school.

We attend a very, very conservative high school without 300 students total. It's one of those places that you hear about, where you have no secrects and know everyone. But, I digress. His tactic was to come out to his trusted circle of friends (like I have), and then to eventually continue to move out to more and more people.

That's what I would suggust. Simply tell the friends that you're extreemly close to, and then, once you're comfortable with them knowing, move on to people that you "trust and know less," in my friends words. If everyone is as understanding as you say they are, word will eventually spread, and within a few weeks, it will become just another part of who you are. Trust me.

Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2748

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I would also suggest coming out to close friends first, then move out. But I go to a fairly big school (about 1700, I think) and we have an AMAZING GSA.

So last year, I told my former best friend (I also had a girlfriend then at the time) and kept it at that for awhile. Then people got curious who I was going out with so I (mostly my closer friends) so I told them and they were all very accepting. After that, I just kinda let me be me and didn't really care if people knew or not. So now I think most of the school knows/suspects and doesn't seem to care. And no one seems shocked if I say (well, technically said), "So, me and my girlfriend did ________ this weekend." (and the technicality is because we are now broken up)

I've found for the most part that people simply don't care. Some were shocked but then were just like, "whatever. good for you." I think, though, that if you do decide to tell them, just act like it's the norm and not brush it off, but don't make a big deal of it.

Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5272

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I went thru a phase of worrying how I was going to ownn up to being gay, but then it just kinda happened. And now I'm coming out. What I've learnt is that the sooner you realise it's no big deal, you'll find yourself being open about your sexuality. Weird, huh?


Posts: 59 | From: London, UK | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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I'm in an all girls Catholic school, so basically soming out as a rainbow child isn't really a feasible option if I want to stay in my school for much longer(I know legally I can't be kicked out but they could make my life very difficult) Most of my friends are in my school and they all know so I'm slowly but surely falling out of the closet to friends. I'll never be fully out, not til college then I'll be well and truly gone out of that smelly manky closet so I know how horrible it is to be in and be in school and fell so...trapped I suppose. Why can't we all just get along?


Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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