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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » very confused (please read)

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Author Topic: very confused (please read)
Member # 4839

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one night at a church lock in me and my friends were talking and we descovered that at sometime we all turned each other on and wanted to do something with each other just once we are very curious but im to shy to initiate anything and make the first move. i know im not les. but im shy and i dont know how to make the first move. but if i want to have "sex" with a girl even just once does that make me les? please help i have a boyfriend whom i love very much im pretty sure im not les. is this normal?
Posts: 1 | From: Burlison Tn us | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Do understand that even if you ARE lesbian or bisexual, it isn't a death sentence. There are plenty of us who are not heterosexual who have healthy, happy lives and feel good about ourselves.

NO sexual activity can "make" someone a certain sexual identity. How you idnetify is up to you, and as you grow, you'll get a clearer idea of what gender you're attracted to, iif you have aa preference between them at all.

However, sounds to me like you're looking to jump into something you aren't ready for. There are lots of people and friends I find attractive, but if I got sexually engaged with all of them, I'd never have a minute in the day. Being attracted to people doesn't mean you have to act upon it.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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Another thing, whether you're straight, gay, or attracted to tubs of butter, fooling around with other people (male or female) is unacceptable when you have a significant other unless you have talked it out and made a special relationship. Otherwise it's dishonest and there isn't an excuse for it.

Lesbian, straight, gay, bi, dyke, whatever, ithey're all just labels. It doesn't matter what you label a jar, because the contents of the jar don't change. It's just easier to differentiate between canned food if there are labels on them. In other words, a label is just that, it's what you call yourself because you want to, because you want something to identify yourself with or you want people to identify you with. It doesn't really matter what you call yourself, okay?

And no, having sex one time with a chick, or ten times doesn't make you a lesbian unless you want it to.

Scarleteen Advocate

"Just say no" fights teen pregnancy the way "hey, cheer up" fights manic depression.

Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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