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loser geek
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i've been questioning my sexuality a bit lately, and it's kind of scary.

i know i'm not gay, because i like guys way too much. but sometimes i get really attracted to a girl and for about a month i had several dreams involving sex between or with other girls. i also kissed one of my girl friends on a dare about a year ago, and it felt just the same as kissing a guy to me.

i don't know if i'm just a straight girl who just likes other girls sometimes - or maybe i'm bi...has anyone else gone through anything like this? how did you know for sure?


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gaffer
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I just had to say, you took my user name! Actually, no, I've never been through anything like that, sorry. Be what you want to be, labels are silly. Goodbye.
Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rambler
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It could be a few things. I have been through this, sort of... only the other way around!

I always considered myself to be straight until one day I had unmistakable sexual feelings for another girl. They were very, very strong, and although I considered myself straight, I never really had them at ALL for guys. Basically the feelings I had were very strong and overpowering but they were also purely based in thoughts of sex...I mean, I was like a teenaged boy all of a sudden.

Anyway, I never doubted how I felt about other girls because it was very strong. I also wasn't really concerned that it was mostly a physical thing because it was just so strong and it was the first time that I was feeling sexual attraction. But I WAS concerned with the fact that I was really concerned with the act of sex. I didn't LIKE being sex-crazed.

Then I fell in love... With a girl. It didn't work out--it was unrequited--but I knew what love was and I know that I was in it, with a person of the same sex, for the first time.

Since then I have become involved with a man, and THERE was where my problem was because I had decided that I was a lesbian, and I was 18 and he was the first male I'd considered having sex with, or sexually in any way... And I was really dubious and convinced I was a lesbian for a long time even while dating him. But this hurt him a lot and I ultimately decided that it was really wrong of me to hold up that idea of myself when I knew I was going against it. It was much easier to cling to an identity which I thought was mine. But once I accepted the fact that yes, I am attracted to women AND men, it just became a LOT easier.

So my advice is: don't ignore it. If it is ignored, it will probably get stronger to spite you. That's my experience. Anyway, it is not something to be ashamed of--this will only make your life unpleasant and make you feel negatively about yourself. If you feel a certain way towards women, then acknowledge this. It doesn't mean you have to go out and fall in love and be committed to a girl all of a sudden, it just means that the potential is there...and it's there for a lot of people.

Ultimately your heart is going to decide who you will be with, whether it's a male or female--so don't be anxious over it too much. Be who you are and don't worry over the particulars or the mechanics of it.

------------------
rambler
Visit disabledsex.org -- Disability and Sexuality.
Or, find out how to join the teen discussion list
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
--Joe Ancis


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loser geek
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thanks

i know that nobody else can tell me what/who i am. and basically my thinking is right now that if something were to happen between another girl and myself that's fine, and if it doesn't, that is too.

i'm usually really anti-label, but it took reading a few other posts on here to realize that i don't have to label my sexuality if i don't want to.

p.s. gaffer, are you an everclear fan, too?


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Gaffer
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Yup, big everclear fan.

Actually, just have to squash the stereotype that all teenage boys go sex crazy when they see a girl. That's completely untrue. Some of them go sex crazy when they see a guy. C(8^)> Oh, well, yeah, I guess some might not go sex crazy (although I, to tell the truth, have never met one).


Posts: 356 | From: Phoenix--name that plurally | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rambler
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I probably should have qualified that by saying "straight teenaged boy," but the fact of the matter is that up until that point I had not experienced attraction, period, end of story, so I was just shocked to have so much of it flooding my poor brain. I definitely know I was going a bit overboard or making up for lost time or whatever. I never acted on any of it because I knew it was pretty unwise all around, but I was horny enough to rival ANY boy, gay, straight, bi, tri, whatever. And I have yet to meet a boy who isn't rather horny, so... I still think what I said stands.

This is what happens when I'm in a rush to say a lot of stuff before heading off to work.

------------------
rambler
Visit disabledsex.org -- Disability and Sexuality.
Or, find out how to join the teen discussion list
The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
--Joe Ancis


Posts: 141 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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