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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » FINALLY TOLD FAMILY!

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Author Topic: FINALLY TOLD FAMILY!
Stephanie_1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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So many people tell their friends before family about their orientation and identity. It's a safe space where you have something less to worry about with reactions. And when you FINALLY tell that first close family member sometimes it can be a breath of fresh air to not have to hide all of the time.

Who was that family member for you?
How did they react?
How did you feel after?

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
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The first family member I came out to was my brother. He's two years older than me and we've been quite close since our late teens.

I actually don't remember that much about the conversation; we were playing cards at the time, I think, and I brought up some of what I was mulling over in terms of my gender identity (it's been a pretty tenuous thing to pin down over the years; at the time I was trying to explain "I think I'm genderqueer but maybe sort of male identified as well/instead?") and then also explained that the person I was dating was genderqueer. I'm not really sure if I explicitly talked about my realization that I wasn't straight at the time, but we did go over the fact that I wasn't a woman and my partner wasn't a man, so... at least it was hinted at, I guess.

His reaction was something along the lines of "I don't really understand what you're saying but ok, I'm happy to support you." So it wasn't a big deal at all! This was at least a year before I came out to my parents, which was a bit of a disaster and which happened when I was at a big family reunion, so at the time it was so nice to know that I at least had ONE supportive person on my side there. He was also onboard with using the right name and pronouns very early, and again it was good to have an ally in the family on that front.

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atypical
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Member # 107555

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The only person I've sat down and had a talk with is my mother. One evening I just asked if we could have a serious conversation and I went on to tell her I was asexual. She hadn't heard of it before and asked questions. Then she said it made sense and that as long as I was happy with my life she wouldn't care. I haven't really sat down to have a talk with anyone else. It's not something I hide, if someone asks, I will tell. I just don't feel a need to go around proclaiming my orientation. I think that is partly because my mother was so accepting and understanding. She knows, and nothing changed.

[ 06-08-2013, 07:09 AM: Message edited by: atypical ]

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Signature that I might fill out later ~~~

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That Strange CT child
Activist
Member # 104246

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I told my sis i am bi like a month ago
She was just like "i knew it" and was cool with it
Shes like my only actual family member who knows but most of my friends know

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

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Stephanie_1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Now that I have a bit of time I can share my own moment of family sharing time. My one sister and I were shopping and talking about our relationships (her her marriage and me my fiancee and I) and I told her about how my fiancée and I opened our relationship for a couple years and I dated a girl named Jess. She agreed we shouldn't tell my parents (years of living with them I know that would go badly) but seemed happy I was open enough to share with her. I thought she would freak out and she had more of an "ok that changes nothing" approach. I'm glad she was so cool about everything, reminds me why I love my sisters SO much.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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