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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » For heterosexual/cisgender posters in this area

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Author Topic: For heterosexual/cisgender posters in this area
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I just wanted to put a reminder in this area expressly for heterosexual and/or cisgender users posting in it.

Please bear in mind that when you're posting in this area of the boards -- well, and at the boards period -- that not only does this need to be a safe space for our GLBT users primarily, but that some of our volunteers and staff who answer here and elsewhere are also GLBT (including myself).

So, when we're engaging in conversations, especially where any of us make clear that we are in that group, doing things like talking about GLBT people as an external group, or as people who are not right here, often talking to you and helping you out, can be or become insensitive and disrespectful. Overall, all of the users who post at Scarleteen are such a great group, and I feel confident no one means to be so sometimes, but it still happens. A lot of why, of course, is probably because you're not a member of that group yourself, and also because it tends to take time to unlearn heterosexism or ideas about binary gender that most of us, including those of us who are GLBT, are reared with and have enabled in our lives and world every day.

So, just be sure you're treading light when and if you're posting in here, okay? As well, if and when a GLBT person calls out something like heterosexism, please bear in mind we usually do so with the best intention (making the world more inclusive and safe for all of us), and that we also may have an awareness of that you may not because we are often more negatively impacted by it, just like someone of color often will have a keener eye for racism when it's present than those of us who are not of color.

Straight/cisgender allies are absolutely welcome here, and we're glad to have you, it's just important that Scarleteen as a whole, and particularly this area, be as safe a space as it can for GLBT.

Additionally, Lena started a new thread in Support Groups last night for straight partners, friends or family who are looking for support here: http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/9/t/001377.html

Thanks! [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jaded_Jadin
Neophyte
Member # 60864

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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
I just wanted to put a reminder in this area expressly for heterosexual and/or cisgender users posting in it.

Please bear in mind that when you're posting in this area of the boards -- well, and at the boards period -- that not only does this need to be a safe space for our GLBT users primarily, but that some of our volunteers and staff who answer here and elsewhere are also GLBT (including myself).

So, when we're engaging in conversations, especially where any of us make clear that we are in that group, doing things like talking about GLBT people as an external group, or as people who are not right here, often talking to you and helping you out, can be or become insensitive and disrespectful. Overall, all of the users who post at Scarleteen are such a great group, and I feel confident no one means to be so sometimes, but it still happens. A lot of why, of course, is probably because you're not a member of that group yourself, and also because it tends to take time to unlearn heterosexism or ideas about binary gender that most of us, including those of us who are GLBT, are reared with and have enabled in our lives and world every day.

So, just be sure you're treading light when and if you're posting in here, okay? As well, if and when a GLBT person calls out something like heterosexism, please bear in mind we usually do so with the best intention (making the world more inclusive and safe for all of us), and that we also may have an awareness of that you may not because we are often more negatively impacted by it, just like someone of color often will have a keener eye for racism when it's present than those of us who are not of color.

Straight/cisgender allies are absolutely welcome here, and we're glad to have you, it's just important that Scarleteen as a whole, and particularly this area, be as safe a space as it can for GLBT.

Additionally, Lena started a new thread in Support Groups last night for straight partners, friends or family who are looking for support here: http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/9/t/001377.html

Thanks! [Smile]



--------------------
~Jaded

Posts: 2 | From: Puyallup, WA | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jaded_Jadin
Neophyte
Member # 60864

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i'm a 15 year old bisexual girl and i have a girlfriend. we've gone so far in our relationship but i want more... How do i go about asking her about sex?

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~Jaded

Posts: 2 | From: Puyallup, WA | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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Hi Jaded [Smile]

It will be easier to get replies if you start your own topic by clicking on the "new topic" link at the top of the page.

Here is an article to get you started on talking about sex, including some sample conversations:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/be_a_blabbermouth_the_whys_whats_and_hows_of_talking_about_sex_with_a_partner

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Meggsy
Neophyte
Member # 104252

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I realise I was bi-sexual some years ago. In recent times I have noticed a far greater number of girls who have realise they too are bi and seek female company for their sexual experiences in preference to males. For me this is wonderful as I was always considered to be 'queer' in my early days of engaging with other girls.Some were lesbian. I have a boyfriend (two in fact) and they are aware of my excursions into the adjoining playground but dont concern themselves with my desires as they are rarely deprived of attention if and when it suit's me.
I have found friendship in ways I could never imagine and without committing myself to a monagamous relationship I dont believe I could be faithful to.
Being Bi is not crude rude and disgusting - as I have been told. Its friendship, loving and sharing in a different way and I dont want it any other way.
Be proud of your sexuallity.

Posts: 37 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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