So often there's the memories of when someone you care a lot about not accepting orientation and identity. So let's take a walk down the positive memory lane.
When was a time someone was accepting of you that sticks in your mind? How did they make you feel comfortable talking with them about a relationship you were in or feelings you had? How many happy and positive memories can we come up with together?
-------------------- "Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon Posts: 3395 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008
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Hmm good topic. One friend said she didn't see me any differently. Another one said "you're not weird, you're just you" and hugged me. Another one said she'd always be around for me and that I could talk to her anytime. Probably my favourite reaction though is when someone doesn't bat an eye and says "oh, ok" as if you just said you like eating sandwiches.
-------------------- "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."
Oh, I have the cutest acceptance story, from just a few weeks ago
I was out swinging at the local park, when a bunch of middle school boys, about half a dozen, decided to swing next to me and ask me every single question which came to their minds. Which, well, middle school boys do that. So, since I didn't have anything to do and didn't really mind, I just chuckled and went along with. They asked about what games I played and if I knew anyone that smoked pot (wtf?) at first, and then out of the blue one of the guys asked "Are you bi?" I was taken aback for a split second, then I decided, I might never see these guys again, they don't know my last name, and I've never come out to a guy before, so let's see how this goes. I replied 'No, I'm a lesbian' rather casually, and got a second of silence, then; 'really??' After assuring that I was serious I got about half of them immediately acting sort of offended, asking what's wrong with guys and why I didn't like them. But before I had time to answer one of the boys went 'Hey, it's just how she is, not her choice. It's cool.' The subject pretty much dropped after that, and I headed home since the sun was setting.
Best middle school boy ever.
Posts: 11 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Sep 2011
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I had been scared to near death about telling my dad about my girlfriend as he tends to make crude homophobic remarks every now and then. So when I finally did I was so happy when he said "What I care about is that my children are happy." and went to reassure that I am just as welcome home, going to get just as much financial and emotional support and my girlfriend's just as welcome as before. My coming out hasn't changed anything at all.
Posts: 239 | From: Europe | Registered: Oct 2009
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There was a time when I felt very emotionally distant from my friends and family.
I felt my friends weren't really embracing when I wanted to talk about my attraction to women (at the time I identified as gay).
I'd accidentally outed myself to my parents and sister (facepalm) and it wasn't the best topic to be discussed, an elephant in the room so to speak. I felt very down during this time (due to many other factors, as well).
So, one day after a Biology lesson my teacher, Mrs T, asked me how I was. Biology was usually my favourite lesson and that day I wasn't particularly animated. I told her I was feeling quite stressed about loads of stuff happening and she said: "You can talk to me about it, if you'd like?" So I came out to her and told her about my discomfort about discussing stuff with other people because no-one was up for talking about it. She just smiled at me and said: "Well, my office door's always open." She made me smile so hard I thought my face was gonna break!
About three months later, a small group of students were helping Mrs T to plan a school campaign on Sex and Relationship Education and there was a section on LGBT Health. Someone asked why I knew so much about the topic and I told them I was gay. Mrs T gave me a small, proud smile and the other person (surprisingly) just shrugged and continued.
Those two little moments of acceptance really helped me feel comfortable in myself and confirmed that not everyone will be awkward about my sexuality.
This is such a beautiful post and a good reminder of all the moments of acceptance around.
I always find it endearing when my friend whose wife just had their second baby. She had the first. Goes out of her way to stroke her hair, rub her feet and make sure her favorite ice cream is on hand because these are all of the things that were done for her when she was pregnant. Such a cute and inspiring queer family full of love and moments of acceptance.
Posts: 33 | From: Toronto | Registered: May 2013
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I'll just say that I identify as biromantic asexual (that again doesn't really fit as gender-blind would be more accurate than bi..) and that I don't really differentiate between coming out with one or the other. I do however have a couple of stories that I would like to share if anyone are interested. While it is mainly about being asexual I hope you still appreciate the little stories I have to tell
The first one I remember clearly in my mind happened just as I had turned 17. I was sitting outside the cinema with my two closest friends after having finished watching the movie and we were waiting to be picked up. The two of them started talking about boys and as usual I more or less signed out of the conversation. One of my friends very bluntly asked if I was a lesbian and that she would love me the same no matter what. I was a bit taken a back, but I told her that no, I was pretty sure I wasn't. It was then followed up by "but you're not interested in guys either," which I confirmed. My other friend then stated that I simply wasn't interested in anyone that way. I agreed. At the time I didn't know about the word "asexual" or that it was possible to be anything other than straight, gay or bi. This conversation still stand out clearly in my mind as the time that it just clicked for me and seemed right. My friends thought nothing of it and we continued as we would have.
The other one I have to tell is my mother. When I was nearly 19 I told her I wanted to have a serious conversation and we sat down to talk. While I was a little nerveous I wasn't expecting anything disastrous. I told her I was asexual, she admitted she had never heard of it and asked a couple of questions. She then proceeded to the conclusion that it absolutely made sense. If it was possible to like on sex, the other or both then why shouldn't it be possible to just not feel attraction to either of them. The easiness she took it with surprised me slightly. The whole conversation was pretty much done over a few minutes and it hasn't changed anything. Apart from my mother's suspicions about me being lesbian and too embarrassed to say anything. That doesn't happen anymore.
Lastly you have my boyfriend. Indeed, boyfriend. I was open about my asexuality and the fact that I would more than likely never be sexually attracted to him, turned on or want to go through with intercourse. We didn't really expect to fall for each other and when it happened it was wonderful and strange. Through the past four months or so we've had several conversations about gender and sexuality and he has always been supportive and loves me exactly the way I am. Regardless of how many strange, weird cherries I put on top of the fundae that is moi he still wants me to be that way and nothing else.
I hope this could brighten someone's day even if it isn't about homo- or bisexuality. I just really wanted to share the feeling that I have all these wonderful people around me and that I can be exactly who I am and no one else.
-------------------- Signature that I might fill out later ~~~ Posts: 15 | From: Norway | Registered: May 2013
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