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Author Topic: Sex worries
Angelica Maria
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Me and my girlfriend are planning on having sex when we see each other. I wash my vagina every time I shower. The problem is, every time I've masturbated I lick my fingers to make it easier to rub but then I lick em again it smells bad. Not horrible but not good smell. I'm worried she won't wanna eat me out bc it stinks. I don't knw if it's just me or if maybe I'm not washing properly or something. It's not like hair where u can have em smell it and theyll tell u if it smells good or not. I wanna know before I see her labor day weekend. I wanna have two way street when we're intimate without putting her in a place she doesn't wanna be. Any suggestions?

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Robin Lee
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The vagina is terrifically good at self-cleaning and regulating itself. in fact, generall, the less interferance from us in terms of cleaning, the better. Generally, cleaning the vulva with water and maybe some mild soap should be enough.

Sometimes, discharge that smells odd is a sign that things are out of balance. This article gives a good overview of healthy versus unhealthy discharge. This is a good place to start to see if what you're smelling is your natural smell or if there might be something more going on.
Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Vaginal Secretions

If you do determine that something is off, a visit to the doctor is generally a good idea to see if there's anything that needs to be treated.


Have you shared your concerns with your girlfriend? Have either of you engaged in oral sex with someone with a vulva before? It might be helpful for you to discuss your concerns with her that you don't taste right.

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Robin

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Angelica Maria
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Well as I've told u before its hard for me to talk to her about any concerns of mine. I realized that she was abusive bc she wasn't on her mess and she's still struggling but I'm prompting her. I've gotten a little more open with her since but not 100%. My vulva doesn't smell so bad in a "ugh if I have to smell it again I'll puke" way. I suppose I cud check with a doctor for that. Some things don't smell bad to me but to other people. Like passing gas (which I don't do in public). My mom says that if ur significant other doesn't like the smell of ur genitals enough that they can't go down on u that's a sign that there not interested in u, especially if ur giving them the pleasure then that's selfish. If its really bad that it's a medical issue that's one thing. Now if feel like I answered my own question. It happens to me sometimes and I feel weird about it. Lol.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Karybu
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I think if you're still worried about this, checking in with a healthcare provider is a great idea.

I'm wondering if having sex with your girlfriend is something you feel completely comfortable with right now? Given that you've never met in person, and are still having trouble communicating, it might be a good idea to think about whether sex is something you want and that will be beneficial to you with this person right now.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Angelica Maria
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Sex is my decision to be honest. I know for a fact that I want it.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Karybu
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The thing is though, what we want isn't always the same as what's healthy and positive for us. It's possible to really, really want something and still have that thing not ultimately be good for us. For example, someone who's diabetic might really want a huge chocolate bar, but eating one would likely have serious negative effects on their health.

Sex is kind of the same way: the want to have sex is part of the decision, but so is the ability to communicate with your partner, a feeling of being comfortable with them enough to be able to share any concerns you might have, being comfortable in your body, the works.

Have you seen this piece? Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

It might help clarify some of what I'm saying here.

I can't make the decision whether or not to have sex for you, but what you've said about this relationship in the past raises huge red flags for me, and it doesn't seem like a relationship in which you have the comfort and communication that are really needed for good sex.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Angelica Maria
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I know u said u can't decide for me but that's kind of how it came across. I know u don't mean it like that but that's what it felt like. What I said up there was that I made my decision. I never got an experience and that's my opportunity that I'm going to take. If I sound rude, forgive me. I know ur trying to help and I'm not meaning to sound rude. I'm just telling u how I feel. This is how I feel and I needed to get it off my chest. When I want something I take it. I waited for a sexual relationship for a long time.

Once again, I understand that ur not telling me what to do and not judging me, but these types of suggestions could set me off sometimes. I'm trying to be as nice as I can no matter how pissed off I get bc I know that's the rule on this site.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Angelica Maria
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I know u said u can't decide for me but that's kind of how it came across. I know u don't mean it like that but that's what it felt like. What I said up there was that I made my decision. I never got an experience and that's my opportunity that I'm going to take. If I sound rude, forgive me. I know ur trying to help and I'm not meaning to sound rude. I'm just telling u how I feel. This is how I feel and I needed to get it off my chest. When I want something I take it. I waited for a sexual relationship for a long time.

Once again, I understand that ur not telling me what to do and not judging me, but these types of suggestions could set me off sometimes. I'm trying to be as nice as I can no matter how pissed off I get bc I know that's the rule on this site.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Robin Lee
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What kind of information do you think you need to make this sexual experience as safe and enjoyable as possible for you?

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Robin

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Angelica Maria
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Member # 96266

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Like I said I'm going to try to see a doctor. When u said it cleans itself, well, my mom says to always wash it in the shower. I'll need a lil explanation on that.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Kachina
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Your mom was probably meaning to wash your vulva, which like Robin says above can be washed with mild soap and water. The vagina is self cleaning and putting soap inside your vagina can cause infections.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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Angelica Maria
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That's what I meant!!! Crapola! Sorry I just had to say that. I ddnt mean the vagina hole. People say vagina just meaning the whole pubic area on a woman. People say "hair on vagina" but they mean pubic hair. U misunderstood. I meant vulva. Sorry I get frustrated when people don't understand me.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Kachina
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You said you needed an explanation, so I gave you one... Maybe you can clarify what you want an explanation of?

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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Angelica Maria
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Member # 96266

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That's what I meant!!! Crapola! Sorry I just had to say that. I ddnt mean the vagina hole. People say vagina just meaning the whole pubic area on a woman. People say "hair on vagina" but they mean pubic hair. U misunderstood. I meant vulva. Sorry I get frustrated when people don't understand me.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Onionpie
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Since you meant the vulva than yes, you can wash your vulva with warm water and some gentle soap [Smile] It's just the vagina, the inner canal, that is self-cleaning and doesn't need to be washed.

Does that help clarify?

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Angelica Maria
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Haha ok. Considering when it comes to oral sex to a female people usually have outside contact.

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

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Karybu
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Angelica Maria, I know this is a couple of days late and you've been getting help from a couple of other volunteers since, but I wanted to apologise for coming across as trying to make a decision for you. That was absolutely not my intent, and I'm sorry if I gave you that impression.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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WesLuck
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It's easy sometimes to give the wrong impression. About the best thing one can do is apologise and move on. I've done that before. [Smile]
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Angelica Maria
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It's totally fine. Thank u for understanding. [Smile]

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*Angelica, A, A-Maria, Maria, Angie; address me as either of those* We shall never deny an individual's sexuality, even the most ridiculous identity. We are free to love who we love and identify our sexual orientation our way. Theres no rules!

Posts: 57 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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