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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Crazy for a married Lady Please Please help

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Author Topic: Crazy for a married Lady Please Please help
daniilou
Neophyte
Member # 93245

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Hey guys [Smile]
Ok i know that i should probably let this one slip but if i am completely honest...That isint going to happen. I am 23 and only a few friends know that i am Bi, it isint something that is acceptable in my family so they pretty much don't understand or know that much about my feelings for this woman. She is about 8 years older than me and married to a guy she loves, we flirt alot and i think about her 24/7. sometimes i get the impression that her married life isint all it seems, she sometimes goes to work without her wedding ring on and i have noticed this several times. I cannot tell her how i feel because of her professional job, it would cause way too many problems and it would result in me not being allowed to see her again unless she made contact outside of her working life. i saw her yesterday and we kept eye contact for what seemed like an eternity and when i looked away and looked back she was still looking at me with her sexy smile, then on her way home she turned her car round to drive passed me and beeped her car horn. Is this her just being friendly or do you think there is more to it than meets the eye. Please help if you can xx

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ℓєєℓєєℓσνєя

Posts: 6 | From: Nottingham, UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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Hi Daniilou [Smile] . Sorry to hear that your orientation isn't acceptable to your family, but glad that you have some supportive friends. Have you talked to any of them about these feelings?

It sounds like you're very attracted to this lady, but with her being married and also being in some kind of professional relationship with you, those are two major red flags for me. Whether she is flirting with you or just being friendly, it doesn't sound like pursuing this relationship would make either of you happy in the long run. As well, if she is in a position of power over you in her job, it is irresponsible and unethical for her to flirt with you. I'm not sure what her job is, but pursuing this may even lead to her losing her practicing licence and job. It would also certainly affect her marriage when people find out about your relationship.

I'm sorry to say that as I'm sure it's not what you want to hear and it sounds like a really tough situation. If it were me, I'd perhaps try to avoid seeing her in the professional situation (?switch to someone else), distract myself and talk with friends about how I'm feeling. In the end, what you do is of course your decision but I hope it's ok I shared my opinion.

(I noticed from one of your previous posts that you have a history of abuse and wondered whether you have had any counselling around that? If you are currently seeing a therapist, they would be a really good person to get non-judgemental support around these feelings too).

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

Posts: 1326 | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daniilou
Neophyte
Member # 93245

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hey thanks [Smile]

Yes i have been councilling it hasnt really helped and tbh i tend not to think about the past as much as possibe, what happened, happened and i can't change it [Smile]

I can't stop seeing her as a professional, but will try to distance myself more because she is the only one i trust to do what she does correctly, i have seen others previous who were no where near as good as she is, she saved my eye sight and i feel i owe her my life bt that5 isint why i have the feelings i do for her lol i had them before.

I NEVER want her to lose her job, or her licence i know she loves her job and she wored hard for it. i shall let you now what if anything happens xx

Posts: 6 | From: Nottingham, UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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I think that sounds like a good plan [Smile] hope things work out well for you in the new year.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

Posts: 1326 | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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