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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Crush on a girl- how do I get to know her?

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Author Topic: Crush on a girl- how do I get to know her?
DiscerningFlounder
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I'm 17 years old, and have come out as a lesbian as of last August.
I'm very happy with myself, proud, all that stuff. But even so, I've been unable to ever experience a real relationship. Generally I've decided to wait until next year when I go to college to focus on dating, but every once and a while, a girl catches my eye.

The girl I like right now is the manager of my local Hot Topic. She's incredibly friendly and often makes conversation with costumers, so I've talked to her very briefly once or twice; At least long enough to get the basic gist of what she's like. As far as I know, she's around my age, and definitely my type in interests, personality, and appearance.
She disappeared for a while and I had to abandon this crush, but she's recently been working again, so my interest (and hope) has been reawakened. I have matured immensely in both character confidence in the past year and would seriously like to pursue this crush, but having been single for almost all my life, I'm a bit shaky on how to get things going.
First of all, I don't even know this girl's sexual orientation. I would never want to make a straight girl uncomfortable by flirting with her (It would be embarrassing for both of us), so I would ideally like to find this out where she is on the romantic spectrum first. But how do I go about finding this out without being nosy, pushy, or weird?
Second of all, I would like to get to know her better. But since the only time I see her is when I go to the mall, a real conversation is hard to come by. I'm also not sure how to smoothly flirt with her when/if the time comes.

Simply put, I don't know where to start with this girl.
I'm a shy person, but at my best I would like to belief that I am confident and somewhat charming. However, without any knowledge of what I'm doing, I'm an awkward mess.
Any help you could provide in this sort of situation is greatly appreciated. How to approach her, what I can do to get to know her better, anything.
Thanks!

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Heather
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In these situations where you don't know someone's orientation, their relationship status or if they share an interest in you, you can usually get started on ticking those boxes AND get to know them a little better for yourself by hanging out with them.

So, do you feel up to asking her if she wants to just hang out a little sometime? Like, maybe one of the times she's on break at work, you can meet her and just grab a quick coffee or tea?

I don't think you have to worry about being smooth. If and when someone's earnestly interested, that's not that important. And if they're not, that won't likely create interest, you know? It's okay to be awkward, really. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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DiscerningFlounder
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Thank you!
That does help me considerably. If I can work up the courage, I might give that a go.

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Heather
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Sure thing! LOVE that handle, btw. I don't even know what a discerning flounder is, but it sure sounds awesome! [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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DiscerningFlounder
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I'm not entirely sure what it is either, but thanks. [Razz]
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Heather
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Well, if you ever meet such a fishy, I assume you'll let us know? [Razz]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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DiscerningFlounder
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Member # 86125

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lol, of course.
Posts: 4 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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