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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » LGBT umm... I Guess an Ettiquette-ish Question

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Author Topic: LGBT umm... I Guess an Ettiquette-ish Question
Starfire&Shadows
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Hey, I have a question that's a good question to have. I recently met a woman who seems to like being with me and vice versa. We seem to work well together. And she's bi like me. She's also really my type, I'm attracted to her. So is there a good amount of time to just hang out with her before letting her know? [Smile]

I've actually done this before, but I've done it very stressed without thinking about it too much, and now I'm thinking.

If she's not into me, I'd still be happy being friends.

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We are all made of Star Stuff...
-Carl Sagan

...Their eyes beheld, first of all things, the stars of heaven.
-Silmarillion

Posts: 90 | From: Unknown | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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When you say 'being with you' do you mean hanging out as friends, rather than working together as aquaintances or co-workers?

Do you talk about more personal things than work and do you think she'd like to hang out with you outside of work?

[ 10-22-2011, 04:00 AM: Message edited by: RaeRay2112 ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Starfire&Shadows
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Yeah, we don't work in the same place, so when we meet it's always outside of work. I meant hanging out as friends, we talk about what we've seen recently, favorite parts of the city, etc. Hope that clarifies things.

--------------------
We are all made of Star Stuff...
-Carl Sagan

...Their eyes beheld, first of all things, the stars of heaven.
-Silmarillion

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Starfire&Shadows
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I realize now, that in some ways this was a silly question because there's so much to do with the two individual people involved, none of which anyone else can tell on the internets. I think my brain is just spinning because it's the first time I've been in this situation with someone who's very out and blatant and it's good but weird.

--------------------
We are all made of Star Stuff...
-Carl Sagan

...Their eyes beheld, first of all things, the stars of heaven.
-Silmarillion

Posts: 90 | From: Unknown | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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Sorry I misunderstood you!

Just in case you'd still like some help with this; if you're already friends, go for it, as soon as feel comfortable. [Smile]

How are you feeling about this now?

[ 10-23-2011, 04:39 PM: Message edited by: RaeRay2112 ]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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I think the being out part, actually just makes this like many other sort of "do I, don't I?" questions, about whether or not to ask someone else out, but without the need to try and navigate all the difficulties with being in the closet or having problematic parents etc... So I think it's worth considering it on a very general basis, rather than anything specific about being LGBT.

I've never been somebody who has been able to just spontaneously ask someone if they want to go on a date, although I think people who can are really cool. However I personally really prefer just approaching things like a friendship and then taking it from there a little later.

I think it really just depends on what you feel comfortable with... but I don't think there's any LGBT etquette to worry about, thankfully...

So I agree with Rae, go for it when comfortable.

[ 10-23-2011, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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Starfire&Shadows
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Thanks, guys. Yeah I'm just getting used to not having to do the whole opinion-testing to find out if knowing who I'm attracted to will lose me a person's friendship (although if it does, in some ways it's no great loss). And technically, I could tell her tomorrow. Which doesn't feel quite right, but yeah, it's kind of a different feeling. And you're right, this is probably more like what "straight" relationships are generally like.

--------------------
We are all made of Star Stuff...
-Carl Sagan

...Their eyes beheld, first of all things, the stars of heaven.
-Silmarillion

Posts: 90 | From: Unknown | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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