Hi. So I am sexually attracted to some celebrity chick who I no from a tv show. I write erotic stories about me and her. I am always in my own little world, fantasizing and cumming over her. About the show she's in, well, I dnt like to watch that show anymore b/c it's too much pressure. When I have dinner with my mom, I feel like she's pressuring me to watch that show. I'm sure she dzznt mean to. In the show, (I'm sure not in real life) she is dating a guy. I have to see them kissing. In the show, they'd get into a fight, and I would always hope they break up, so that I dnt have to get jealous. I said that to my mom and she said, "Oh, she's not gay. She'll never date a girl!" I was nice to her about it, but on the inside, I was pissed b/c I hate that word "never". Hearing that crap turned me off and now I cnt write my stories. I am sexually frustrated. I ddnt and dnt need to face the truth (I DO no the truth tho) therefore I dnt personally no her. If I no a girl who is str8 and I'm attracted to her, I wld have to face it, b/c if I dnt things can get outta hand, then I'll think my fantasy is true and I'll make her uncmftrbl. This girl, I dnt have to worry about b/c nothing will get out of hand, and I cnt make her uncmftrbl, b/c I don't no her personally. So I can live in my own world as long as I want. That's why I hate watching the show. Last nite I ast my mom if she minded if I took a break from that show for a while. I kept it simple. She said she's fine witit. I just wanna give it till I get over her.
The bottom line is, I am sexually frustrated. I wanna get back to writing the stories in my own world where I can be sexually excited not frustrated. I can't even wank over her anymore or over anyone else. What can I do to forget that crap, and not worry about what my mom said so that I can unlock the door to my world?
-------------------- ~Stephanie Gabriella Murray I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010
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I'm sorry to hear that anything is getting in the way of your feeling able to enjoy yourself sexually in masturbation and your fantasies1
Fantasies are a probably a little like dreams, where really they say a lot about what's going on for us, but at the same time interpreting them can be a risky business if we're looking for one answer on what's going on with them.
As far as your having to "face it" that someone isn't into you because they're straight, this might be the case, but it's really not to do with your being attracted to women but something everyone has to deal with because it's just the situation of being attracted to someone who isn't interested, and that's never a certainty... I disagree with your mother, and I think that there's always a chance that someone can be attracted to someone you wouldn't expect them to be into.
Also though, this woman on tv, although I'm sure she's a cool person in real life, is actually probably not as unique to you as the version of her in your mind and the fantasy wherein she's almost part of your own private sexuality. They are kind of separate, and honestly the one in your fantasy is capable of being everything you'd enjoy thinking of her being, which is pretty central to fantasy as a whole; it can be what ever!
Posts: 693 | From: Leeds UK | Registered: May 2011
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