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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » I'm a gay girl, I like a guy?

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Author Topic: I'm a gay girl, I like a guy?
Member # 75012

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I've thought I was gay for a long time, but I'm beginning to think I need to rethink that one. I'm confused by my sexuality : my previous relationships have been with girls, and I know I like them, but I also find guys attractive; on the other hand, the only porn that does it for me features girls only. On the other hand, I could imagine spending the rest of my life with this particular guy, because he's amazing, and I definitely find him attractive; how do I figure out what's going on with me? I don't want to hurt him, and I want to know how I can understand myself better, because I keep oscillating between believing in my own bisexuality, and not.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Have you seen this article yet? I think this may help you understand yourself better:
Q is for Questioning

The main thing you'll want to keep in mind is that sexuality is fluid, and it can change over the course of our lifetimes. Sometimes we'll feel more attracted to one sex, sometimes to another, sometimes there's no discernible difference. That's just how it goes, and while that can be difficult if you are intent on finding a label for yourself, this shift and flow is perfectly natural.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 78235

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I personally know my sexuality is very fluid, and after two and a half years of debating I've landed on an orientation that sounds sort of similar to yours; Bi-Romantic Lesbian. I only would have sex with another woman, but I'd date a guy any day. I'd have to experiment to see whether I chemically like a guy or just physically from a distance; so far my experiences with being near a guy, I get very turned off by how they smell. Sometimes I think I just get flustered around cute guys because society expects me to, plus I've never been around guys much so idk how to interact with them.
Posts: 11 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Elizabeth Lee
Member # 78504

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Hello, Eflueve! I understand what ure going thru. I 've been a lesbian without changing my orientation for a year and a half. Now, what happened to me 6 months ago is, I had a crush on a guy while I was gay. I thought he was funny and cool and stuff (he's gay too). I thought I was wrong that I was gay and was all antsy. So heres what my mom said that helped me a lot. She said that lots of gays have "crushes" on the opposite sex. In other words, she asked me, "do you wanna kiss him." Also asked, "Do you wanna have intimate moments with him". I realized I don't. So every time I have a little crush on a guy, I try think about that part. Say to myself, "Do I wanna be intimate with this guy?" I would suggest you try to think about that, see how it works? It helped me a lot. [Smile]

I am homo! Hear me roar! Elizabeth Lee! Elizabeth Me!

Posts: 14 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(Elizabeth, your signature line just made my whole day.)

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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