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Author Topic: The First Gay Couple
ShanShan
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Member # 49994

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Hello again, so me and my boyfriend have been dating for around two or three weeks now. And we are the first openly gay couple in the school's history (it's only been around for seven years) plus we are starting a GSA and now our friends won't leave us alone and keep telling us to hold hands and stuff like that and we want to, but we don't like them just looking at us like Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenal (sorry, I can't spell his name). We like to be alone sometimes to, but we don't want to hurt their feelings, what should we do?

Also, how do we deal with people who keep staring at us and judging us. We can handle it, but it's still kind of annoying.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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Wow, it must be a lot of pressure being the only openly gay couple at your school. I think it is awesome and brave that you are starting a GSA [Smile] . At the same time you shouldn't have to do public displays of affection, or be gay role models in any way that you are not comfortable with. I think staring is common when people see anything new that they're not used to. I would expect it to settle once people at your school find something new to talk about. How do they judge you? Do you have other gay friends or mentors/teachers you can talk to?

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

Posts: 1326 | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mpls Girl
Neophyte
Member # 77973

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I agree with what eryn said...

Please don't feel like you have to be the representative of gay pride in your community. OBVIOUSLY feel free to have as much gay pride as you want and express yourself freely, but don't feel like you are obligated to be the poster child.

I came out in high school, and remember the looks and talks from people. Also I was bisexual which can sometimes freak straights out worse than people who claim to be exclusively gay.

People are always scared of what they aren't used to, and I truly believe that everyone has at least a pinch of straight and gay in them. That makes a lot of straight (guys especially) people feel insecure and anxious around openly queer or half-queer folk.

Just keep being an activist in whatever capacity you feel comfortable without pressuring yourself.

And keep talking to people and this board about the frustrations you might have to deal with along the way.

IT DOES GET BETTER... promise...

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~Life is an adventure, and so is learning about it.

Posts: 8 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bump on a log
Activist
Member # 60751

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I don't have a heck of a lot of advice to give, I just wanted to say that I admire your guts enormously. You are doing something necessary and good and it can't be a lot of fun at times. Thank you both.
Posts: 170 | From: UK | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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