I'm going to a new school, well, tomorrow, an Arts High School for Juniors and Seniors only. I will be living in it's dorms during the week and home on weekend. That being said, the dorms are not like college dorms, they are well monitored and all the people are well taken care of and it is very neat an clean, not co-ed and no pushing beds together, no sex possibility whatsoever. Which is impressive considering 50% of the school population is GLBT. And that's where my problem is. I've know I'm lesbian for a while, but I haven't had a chance to be around other lesbians (to my knowledge) or to flirt around yet.. and I know there will be plenty of lesbians in this school (both my sisters went there and gave me pretty accurate accounts of the amount of gay there) So uh..... How do I tell for sure if a girl is bi/lesiban, and how do I handle actually having a dating pool I guess is my question.
Posts: 11 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Sep 2011
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This sounds really exciting for you! Also, obviously, it's making you a bit nervous, too, but it sounds like a great opportunity. (I went to an arts high school for my last two years as well, also a school where loads of us were queer, so I might be biased, but it was amazing for me.)
So, how do you know what someone's sexual orientation is? Well, unless they're wearing a t-shirt where it's written right on there or they tell you, you don't. There aren't any "tells" like these about people's orientations.
But it's not like it isn't okay to get to know people and, if you develop a romantic or sexual interest in them, to ask then out. There are a million reasons people might or might not be interested in us, and our gender is only one of those. Getting used to people saying no -- for whatever reason -- is just a part of getting used to dating and interrelating. Sometimes people will say no, and sometimes that might be because they're straight: but in a safe space like this, that shouldn't be any big whoop.
When you ask about how to handle actually having a dating pool (neat, huh? ), what are the things you're concerned about or feel unprepared for?
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