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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » Guy trying to make me straight

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Author Topic: Guy trying to make me straight
Ste-Funnie
Activist
Member # 50934

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Okay, so this guy who I talked to online, was being a real *******. [Mad] First he said to me "I wish u were bi". Then I'm like "what? do u like me or something?" He's like "yea ur so nice and i love talking to u." I'm like, "well we're talking as frans". He said "i know ur a lesbian but if a guy was so sweet would u go out with him?" I said "no i would just be frans with him but only if he accepts our frenship and respects my orientation." He said "are u sure? what if he was the nicest guy in da world?" i told that thats not the point. I am not attracted to men. plus u dnt just date ppl b/c there nice. He was like "one day u'll love a guy when u meet one". I said that its unlikely b/c i was questioning for a long time and I found out for sure when I was 16. I stuck wit it. He said "U might as well change ur mind when u meet the guy who loves u". I got even more pissed. I told him "u cant make someone love u just b/c u love them." He said "oh can i ask u something? will u plzz consider dating a guy if he deserves it? i know u like girls but its absurd that u dont date guys just cuz ur a lesbian." [Mad] [Mad] [Mad] How could he say that? I gave him a warning. I told him "thats not the point! even u need to respect my orientation or we're not frans anymore. i would not be happy with a guy and i cant date someone i dnt like." He then said alright I respect u but i wish u were bi. I told him its okay to wish things, I just dont like how you acted on it. I dont like ppl who try to make me straight. He said "im not trying to make u straight". Come on. If he respected me and was trying to make me straight he wouldn't say what he said. He dzznt get to tell me who to date. He cant make me like him! I still feel insulted and offended. My other fran suspects he was saying those things b/c he "likes" me. He probly thinks he can make me like boys so I'd like him.

Oh and plus, as a minor, still, I'm not supposed to be dating ppl from the internet anyway. I told him I'm 17. He said he's 23 and since I'm one year behind from 18 that its okay. I ddnt believe him. He lives in Morocco anyway. But still. He said he's moving to the US. It dzznt matter though. What should I say next time he pulls that crap on me.

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ShanShan
Neophyte
Member # 49994

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Wow, I hate it when people do that to me. But you were right to stand your ground. It's pretty awesome. I just hate it when girls try to make me date them because they think they can change me or don't think it's possible I can not like a girl. But it cool that you were able to stand your ground and stand up to him like that. If he does it again, I would say not to try that stuff, and if he still insists it might be best to just stop talking to him all together because it's obvious he might not give it up.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

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Kayy
Activist
Member # 47420

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I think that it is very good that your stood your ground and defended yourself. I agree with ShanShan. He needs to respect your orientation that is a big problem. You need to have a discussion with him and tell him that you are who you are and your not going to change for anyone. end of story. and if he cant accept that then he isn't a very good friend in my opinion.

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

Posts: 53 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kayy
Activist
Member # 47420

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I think that it is very good that your stood your ground and defended yourself. I agree with ShanShan. He needs to respect your orientation that is a big problem. You need to have a discussion with him and tell him that you are who you are and your not going to change for anyone. end of story. and if he cant accept that then he isn't a very good friend in my opinion.

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

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Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

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Hi Stef! I'm sorry it sounds like this guy behaved really disrespectfully. I want to congratulate you on being assertive and standing your ground, too! [Smile]

It's up to you whether you want to talk to him about this again or not - if you were calm and clear the first time, which it sounds like you where, then if he talks like this again I think being equally calm and clear again would be fine, and if you feel uncomfortable talking to this guy it might be a good idea to break off contact with him.

I'm glad you felt able to come here to vent about this! [Smile]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
Activist
Member # 50934

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Thanx guys. Ure right. I'll give him a second chance and if he acts like that again, I'll block him. Thank you [Smile]

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
Activist
Member # 50934

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And ur right. A good fran would respect u! [Big Grin]

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just an extra reminder, too: one of the nicest things about socializing online is that when someone is being a jerk, it is VERY, very easy to make that stop. All any of us has to do is click whatever button closes the window and makes them go away.

It sounds like not only was this guy insulting to you, but that you weren't having a great exchange with him in the first place. So, in a situation like that, your best bet is probably just going to be to stop talking to them, period.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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