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Author Topic: My Sexuality
ShanShan
Neophyte
Member # 49994

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I am pretty sure I am gay. I mean I have known since I was in sixth grade. But I still get horny from seeing straight sex. I know I will never actually want a girl, but does this happen with everybody, can gay guys be turned on by straight sex?

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Starfire&Shadows
Activist
Member # 31388

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Gay and straight and bi aren't three totally separate things either, they're words we've come up with. In reality, they have fuzzy edges and blur into one another. I know quite a few friends who have one or two people they know that they'd "go gay for" but they're still mostly straight. And some gay friends that say the opposite.

And also, some things that look hot to someone in porn aren't necessarily interesting to them in real life.

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We are all made of Star Stuff...
-Carl Sagan

...Their eyes beheld, first of all things, the stars of heaven.
-Silmarillion

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Djuna
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Hi ShanShan! [Smile]

When you say you know you will never actually want a girl, can I ask what you mean or how you know that? Too, when you say watching straight sex (I assume you mean in porn or erotica, right?) is something that makes you horny, what is it about what you watch that makes that work for you?

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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ShanShan
Neophyte
Member # 49994

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Well, I try thinking of myself with a girl and I hold no certain attraction. In fact, it makes me feel very awkward and weird. Plus, I have tried dating a girl and it was just...weird.

I don't know really, I just get horny. I don't know what it is about it.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

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So, for example, if you're watching straight sex, are you particularly looking at men or at women on the screen? Or is it the whole stuff going on?

[ 06-08-2011, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: patrickvienna ]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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ShanShan
Neophyte
Member # 49994

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I mainly look at men, but sometimes I just seem to just be looking at the whole stuff going on.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Ultimately, most experts agree that sexual media often isn't a good judge of, or reflective of, sexual orientation. It's about fantasy, and while sometimes our fantasies can be reflective of what we want or feel in real life, more often they're not. Or, they don't translate as literally as we might think.

Sexual orientation is really about our real lives and real people, not representations of people or fantasies of people. So, when we're trying to suss out what our orientation is, or feel confused by what our fantasies seem to suggest with what we know about real life, it's most sound to stay centered on our feelings about others and our sexuality in real life and what we think or know we want in our real lives.

(There's a whole other giant discussion to have about media in general, and the million different ways people can watch it and interpret it, mind. We can talk about that if you want, but didn't want to make a giant veer.)

Make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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ShanShan
Neophyte
Member # 49994

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Yes it does. And thank you Heather and you too Patrick. You guys are great.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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