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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » I need some big time advice \;

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Author Topic: I need some big time advice \;
Ste-Funnie
Activist
Member # 50934

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Hi. See, this girl I told you about that I asked out and she said no, well I'm thinking about just being friends, or at least friendly with her. I'm too nervous to even say a word. I have a chance to talk to her on chat, but I back out of it b/c I get worried that she might say harsh stuff to me. I mean, it is good to take risk once in a while. I don't even know what to say. I don't know if she still thinks of me as a friend the way she thought before I asked her out. If she just thinks of me less as a friend but still a friend, thats okay. I'm just too scared to open my mouth. I did accept that she's not interested in intimacy with me. I just wanna know what she thinks about being friends with me instead. What should I do?

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sometimes in situations like this, where an almost-dating thing happens but doesn't, and you want to get back to being friends -- or at least put that out there -- you've just got to get rid of the elephant in the room.

In other words, you can say something like, "Hey, I hope we can get over any awkward feelings about the date-that-didn't-happen. If you can, I sure can, and if you're interested, I'm still really interested in being friends. What do you think?"

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ste-Funnie
Activist
Member # 50934

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Actually, Heather, that place that I met that girl had an outing. I went there, and we saw each other. She was happy to see me and so she hugged me and said, "OMG! I missed you! What the hell!" And she hugged me first. So at least now I know she still wants to be my friend.

Oh, and I didn't bring up anything about dating. Neither of us brought it up. At least she still treats me the way she treated me b4 I asked her out.

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~Stephanie Gabriella Murray
I'm very gay for being a lesbian, and not gay to be what I'm not

Posts: 251 | From: Long Island | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Glad to hear things went well Ste-funnie [Smile] .

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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