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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » getting over her

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Author Topic: getting over her
jilly bean13
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Member # 43609

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I just finished a relationship with my girlfriend it was very hard in short I finally realized we would never have a future together and I could tell she wanted to be with her ex which really hurt bad and made me feel like I was not good enough. We had been through so much together and she was very special to me. Right now it is hard for me to think about her much less talk to her with out getting really sad and upset.
I know it takes time but there has got to be somehting I can do to get my mind off her and try to get over all of this.
Does any one have any certain way that helps them get over a hard break up or at least make it a little more bearable? Any ideas or thoughts ? Thanks!

Posts: 26 | From: minnesota | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
goodmagpie
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My heart goes out to you sweetheart. Break ups are rarely fun. I think before I start, it's probably worth adding that I don't think it was a case of you not being 'good enough' - sometimes two people just aren't compatible. Don't let it knock your self-esteem [Smile] .

Last time I was in this situation, I found the best thing to do was keep busy and not to dwell too much on the past, or how much I still wanted my ex.: I wrote and drew and read and painted loads, and even though a lot of the time I didn't feel like it, I'd go out with friends to try and just do something that wasn't sit at home moping. I guess everyone has their own coping mechanisms, but I'd reccomend simply doing things you really enjoy or that fully occupy you; if there's something you've wanted to do for a while, but have been putting off, do it. Also, excersise is really good for you, what with all its endorphin-releasing goodness (or so I've heard, I'm not the most physical person [Big Grin] ).

I hope some of that helps. x

Posts: 23 | From: UK | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Silverwing
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I agree with goodmagpie. You should really keep yourself occupied and not dwell on the past. If being with friends doesn't remind you of your ex, I find that having company really helps. It kind of distracts you and stops you from thinking about what could have been. It's so tough, getting over someone. And it's not very fun. But it will be over. Time heals, and one day, you'll be able to remember without the pain. Also spending time with family really helps, if that is something that you're into. Also, I am not sure if you have done this already, but contacting your ex much less for now is a good way too. That way, you won't be reminded of her and might let go of the hurt faster.
Posts: 53 | From: Toronto | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jilly bean13
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Thanx for the advice and suggestions yall, I have been trying to keep myself busy and I have been going to the gym like alomost everyday after work even when I really don't want to.lol I don't know any one around my area I just moved so I only have a few friends to hang ouit with but they all live like at least half an hour away but I am trying to make it to this glbt youth support group, they have meetings activities and stuff so hopefully itll be somehting I can get involved in.I do like to draw and stuff but I ususally have to be in the right mood to produce something thats actually good. But I wanted to ask opinion about something else to kinda dumb but n e ways I have this bracelet she(my ex) gave me that says I love you on it. She told me to always wear it and never take it off.I dnt wear it n e more but i still keep it im afraid to throw it away , idk why I guess bc I think that if we ever become good friends someday she will ask me about it or something. So should I just get rid of it or what? I know it kinda a insugnificant question but kinda matters to me. thanx for your input!

--------------------
live and let live

Posts: 26 | From: minnesota | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Silverwing
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I know what you mean. This is what I personally do. I keep whatever my ex gave me in some kind of a box that's out of sight. That way, I'll have it if I ever need it. But since it's out of sight, I won't be reminded of my ex when I see it, because I'm not going to see it. It's hard to get rid of something that was symbolic of love. You should accept that there will be sadness and not to force yourself into anything. In short, if you feel comfortable getting rid of it, because you can't wait to be rid of it or something, then by all means throw it away. But if you just can't part with it just yet, then accept it and put it away so you don't dwell on it. I don't know maybe I'm not a great example but I have only recently been able to get rid of something my ex from almost four years ago gave me. I kept it in a box at the bottom of my bed and almost never looked at it and slowly I was able to forget and heal. The pain will be gone one day and you will be able to remember or let go without hurting.
Posts: 53 | From: Toronto | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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