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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » why???

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Author Topic: why???
dark fire
Member # 18660

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I live in Waco, Tx. Not the most liberal place around huh? Well today I went to my college's bathroom and after using it bumped into a girl that was in one of my classes. As I was walking out I heard her friend ask her why she didn't use the bathroom stall I had just got out of because she was waiting in line. She said loud enough for me to hear that she didn't want to use it because she didn't want to get contaminated by gays.

Hearing that just made me cringe and feel like I was lesser than dirt. I have just started to accept my sexual orientation but it seems like I keep getting setbacks like this. My family was a huge setback and I overcame that obstacle. How can I make people see that I'm just like them? No one had a problem with me till they found out I was gay when I accidently let it slip out in my sociology class. Now I get mean stares and someone keyed my car.

I think there are other gay people at my college but I'm not sure. Is it hopeless to try to get people to see my point of view?

My girlfriend says I should just not let them get to me. That is easy for her to say because she lives in Dallas where being gay is more acceptable.

So what can I do? Is this a hopeless situation?

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Oh, dark fire, I am so sorry that this happened to you. So many of us have been there, but it's certainly a nasty rite of passage no one would wish on anyone.

Can you recognize that bigotry isn't a problem with YOU but a problem with whomever is bigoted? You could be straight, and that still wouldn't change someone being a bigot, being homophobic, being nasty. Do you know what I mean?

As well, bigotry isn't just about sexual orientation, nor is it often rational. With some people, over time, plain old personal growth and experience out and about in the world will tend to help them unlearn to be bigoted, but there's not much you can do to change that in someone all by yourself, especially someone you don't even know well.

However, you certainly CAN combat this kind of harassment. Does your college have a GSA or another GLBT group or advisor? If so, that's where I'd go to talk about and address this, and if not, then I'd suggest seeing your dean or someone else in a position of authority. You are entitled to personal safety and an environment free of harassment, and your college (no matter where it is) needs to take action to ensure that for all its students.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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