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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » How to ease the awkwardness?

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Author Topic: How to ease the awkwardness?
Member # 40275

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I'm very girly and everyone who knows me thinks I'm totally straight. I am very attracted to guys, but once in a while I'll meet a girl that I'm just really attracted to. Often these girls are kind of (I hate using these term as I'm not one but I don't know what else to call it) butch, or at least appear so, and are not going to waste their time on straight girls. More than once I've befriended girls like this through work, mutual friends, etc. and shortly afterwards developed really strong crushes on them, and the situation can get jokingly flirty. The thing it that I'm often really attracted to these girls and receive strong signals that they are to me too, but some of them have made comments to me such as 'good thing you're straight' or they'd be 'really into you'. They just assume I'm a really playful person but am only interested in guys, and I don't know how to correct them without intensifying the situation too quickly.

Just like I wouldn't want to tell, say, a guy I liked who played guitar that I was 'into' guitar players - it would come off as cheesy. And often I'm not looking for sex or a deep relationship, I just want to hint to the girl that I'm not immune to her because of her gender.

Posts: 11 | From: North Dakota | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Really, I'd suggest you just be direct.

Say, "I'm not straight," when they say that.

That isn't a sexual invitation, nor is it cheesy: it's a plain statement of identity.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2297

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I have to back Heather up on this one - the only way anyone is going to know you aren't straight is if you tell them so.

Of course, if you're not entirely sure of your identity, or don't think it's anyone's business who you're attracted to, it's fine to keep it to yourself. Just realize that nobody will magically realize that you aren't straight!

Good luck! And don't forget you can always qualify what you say so nothing gets taken out of context.


Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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