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Author Topic: is it sex or not?
Lifeis2confusing13
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Okay so I am really confused, I know what sex is, and I know how heterosexuals have sex. What I am confused about is two girls having sex, I mean obviously neither has a penis but I looked it up on google and it says that oral sex, and mutual masturbation are forms of lesbian sex. But if that is the case then wouldnt you basically be having sex everytime you do something besides making out? I am just not sure what the reasoning of calling that sex is when it really isnt. And if it is considered sex,then what is tribidism considered? Is there any other form of "sex" I am missing? Thanks.
Posts: 18 | From: Ohio | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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Oral sex and mutual masturbation aren't only exclusive forms of lesbian sex, they can be forms of heterosexual sex too. Not only lesbians engage in these kinds of sex but heterosexuals as well as homosexuals too might engage in those. Too, lesbians can engage in other forms of sex beside oral sex and mutual masturbation.

May I ask what is sex for you ? What do you consider sex, does sex for you only means having intercourse or also includes other kinds of sex such as oral and manual sex for example ?

Sex isn't just heterosexual intercourse. Sex is anything that one or two individuals or more can engage in in order to seek and/or experience sexual pleasure.

So, tribidism would be consider a form of sex and so is anal sex, oral sex, manual sex, masturbation, cybersex, roleplay, mutual masturbation, making out, etc., those are forms of sex, too.

[ 02-08-2009, 04:25 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Lifeis2confusing13
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Well I mean I consider sexual intercourse as sex, anal, and even oral sex as sex. I wouldn't consider the other ones a form of sex but that does make sense. May I ask what you mean by Manual sex?
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cool87
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Manual sex involves one partner touching/stimulating the other partner's genitals with their hands. [Smile]

So this can include ''handjobs'',''fingering'', clitoris play or can involve touching any other part of the genitals, be it male or female, which could be the labia, the mons, the penis, the testicles, the anus, what have you.

[ 02-08-2009, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Heather
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I often find that, given the MASSIVE diversity in what people of all orientations and genders find to be sexual for them, and do seeking out sexual satisfaction, the best way to define sex is simply as any given thing we do in the pursuit of sexual pleasure.

What I hear you saying is that sex is only sex when it is either genital-to-genital or oral-to-genital. Thing is, that leaves what sex is or can be for a lot of people out, including heterosexual people as well as those of other orientations. It also doesn't leave a lot of room for variance of experiences: for instance, a person may find that one given makeout session feels a LOT more like sex than another given incident of oral sex, depending on what's all going on, what mood they're in, and how either of those things feel at a given time.

Here's something to consider: if someone has vaginal intercourse but feels little to nothing from it, doesn't like it, and/or doesn't reach orgasm from it BUT DOES feel a LOT from say, breast play, DOES like that and/or DOES orgasm that way, how is it sensible to say the former is sex but the latter is not?

Looking at your post history, I feel like it's probably sound to add that often defining sex more broadly than the way you are can make a lot more sense once you've engaged in a bunch of different sexual activities and tangibly felt that that kind of firmly drawn line doesn't tend to be so simple or sound.

[ 02-08-2009, 08:06 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Lifeis2confusing13
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I agree with that, I suppose I never really looked at it that way. I know what you mean by different things feeling better at different times. I was mainly just wondering because if you asked a heterosexual if they've had sex and they haven't had intercourse they say no. But if you ask lesbians or a girl-girl couple then I didn't know what their answer would be. But if you broaden the definition of sex to all of the forementioned activities, for lack of a better word, then it makes a lot more sense to me. =)
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Heather
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I just pulled this link up for someone else, and it's really perfect for what you're talking about here: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/how_can_women_who_sleep_with_women_know_when_they_have_lost_their_virginity

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Mortality
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I identified as straight for the first 18 years of my life, and after a guy had gone down on me I counted it as having had sex.
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Lifeis2confusing13
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I just got done reading the article and I am going to check out the other articles as well. It really helped a lot. Thanks =)
Posts: 18 | From: Ohio | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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