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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » LGBTQA Relationships » is she???

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Author Topic: is she???
Namida
Activist
Member # 28700

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one of my friends is a lesbian (a serious one not just curious) and i think its because no guys are attrackted to her (she's overwheight and never goes outside) is it possible?

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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I'm sort of confused. You started by saying that she's a "serious" lesbian, and then went on to say that you think it might be because she's not getting attention from guys.

The only person who really knows is her. However, attention from members of the opposite sex seems rarely an issue that pushes a person towards homosexuality; I know many a gay guy who has girls chasing after them like mad.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LetMeBeHappy
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she's a lesbian because she's attracted to girls, not because she doesn't get attention from guys. I say you should just support her and be a good friend, not look for reasons for her sexuality.

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*I died in my dreams reaching out for your hand my fatal desire*

My orientation is just another part of me, let me live, let me be, i am the same person you knew only happier.

Posts: 37 | From: scotland | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Namida
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i AM a good friend but i reckon she was pushed into it, she's got a boys name even, like my big brother, he was a prostitute to buy speed and he turned out gay, and he wasn't before that

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And still the beds are burning, burning in our sleep.
Take me away from everything I see.

Posts: 66 | From: Australia | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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Having a boy's name doesn't somehow magically make someone into a lesbian, either.

And being a prostitute can't make someone straight "turn out gay" either, although it might lead to someone re-assessing their sexuality or coming out, when they hadn't done so before.

As far as anyone knows, sexual orientation is something pretty internal; it can't be changed by external factors like that (although they might change how someone acts).

I'm not sure what you're looking for here; you seem to be hoping people will tell you or agree with you that your friend's sexuality isn't "real" somehow.

But as a good friend, you need to accept what she's telling you about it. It's her choice how she wants to identify, and it's not your job to second-guess her.

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daria319
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Like logic said, it is definitely not your job to second-guess your friend's sexuality. Doing so can hurt your friendship terribly, not to mention your FRIEND. If she identifies as lesbian, just leave it at that. She's likely not INTERESTED in attracting attention from males. Your friend is(likely) simply living in a way that makes her comfortable.
Posts: 407 | From: Georgia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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